27 | what the fuck did you say

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J J W O O D F O R D

I slept a lot better than I thought I would. Thanks to Ivy.

When my father rang me with the news on my mother's treatment, I instantly went outside to let everything out because I didn't want to disturb anyone. I failed that mission as soon as I saw Ivy crouch down beside me and flash me a look of concern.

At first I didn't want her there. I didn't want her to see me like that. But when she placed her hand so delicately on my arm, I couldn't help but fall into her chest. I needed the comfort and the affection.

Anything to make me feel human.

I'm miles away from my parents and struggling alone. Until Ivy laid down with me and we looked up into the sky with our fingers entwined and her head on my chest. I have no idea how we ended up like that, but I wasn't complaining.

Her hair smelt like strawberries and I enjoyed the feeling of her body on mine.

When we went up to bed before Finn caught us cuddling on the grass, I thought I would take hours to fall asleep. Instead, I took Ivy's advice and tried to think positively, my mum needs me to be strong for her and I will.

All my prayers are with her right now and I hope someone out there will give her another chance at life because she doesn't deserve this. I don't want to lose her. I couldn't imagine a life without her.

So instead of pumping my brain full of negative thoughts, I continue to be optimistic.

It's not the end yet. Ivy made me think in a different way and I'll be grateful for her time.

I wake up earlier than usual, no doubt my mind is working overtime but at least I got a solid seven hours of sleep. I stand from my bed and jump in the shower before heading downstairs.

Being optimistic is hard when you worry about further bad news. I want to be in a better mood but something is drawing me back and I can't help but be apprehensive about the future, what's coming next for my mother.

I make myself some breakfast and sit at the kitchen island in silence. Allowing my brain this time to be alone and get myself straight for the rest of the day. There is nothing I can do whilst I'm here, so all I've left to do is have hope.

Finn walks down the stairs twenty minutes later, he's shirtless and rubbing his eyes.

"Morning, bro," he calls out as he makes his way to the fridge and drinks the orange juice from the carton. "You good?"

"Morning," I nod as I take my plate to the dishwasher. "Yeah, fine. You?"

Finn studies me as he leans on the fridge. "You don't sound good."

I shrug it off. "I got a call about my mum last night," I admit and Finn's expression softens. "But I don't want to talk about it."

The only person who I want to talk about it with is Ivy.

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