Ivy knows it's time to return to her childhood seaside town to battle the demons of her past. Two years away from her friends, family and the beloved sandy beach that holds such a special place in her heart.
She knows the visit will be painful but...
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J J W O O D F O R D
I'm relieved I could convince Finn to come out with me this evening. It's obvious that he's been deteriorating and it all stemmed from when Ben got out of prison. He hasn't been the same, he's been staying in and sleeping, going to work when he's asked to.
I have no idea if he's sneaking drinks here and there but I need to be there for him, like he's been there for me at university when I found out my mother was sick. I have to admit my entire focus has been on Ivy but she understands that Finn needs me right now and I need to be his best friend.
We walk in silence to the beach where we perch on a wooden wall that faces the sea. It's quiet at this time because the sun is setting and even though it's still summer, the nights are getting cooler.
"How are you?" I ask as I pull up the hood of my jumper and wrap my arms around myself.
Finn stares ahead at the sand, tracing shapes with a stick he has found. "Fine."
"Fine?" I repeat. "Finn, you and I both know that you're not fine."
"What do you want me to say?" His voice is harsh but I don't take it to heart.
I look up at the sky and exhale a long breath. "I want you to tell me the truth, to be honest with me. I've seen the way you've been deteriorating this summer, drinking any chance you can get. It's not healthy and it's not a way to cope with things."
Finn tuts as if he's heard this a thousand times before but he hasn't. He pushes himself up from the ground and dusts away the sand. "I don't need to hear about this shit right now," he grumbles and attempts to walk away.
I shoot up and lock my hand around his wrist, tugging him backwards. When he faces me his blue eyes are full of sorrow and I'm sick of him feeling sorry for himself and pushing everyone around him away. Soon he'll have no one, even if I keep fighting for him to open up.
"You do need to hear about this shit," I lower my voice but keep it stern. "You're covering your problems with drinking. Don't you think I saw how bad it was at University? Well it's a hundred times worse now. You were trying to go to work drunk, you were getting rude to Ivy and your parents. This isn't the Finn I know. Talk to me."
He lowers his head as I move my hand to his shoulder, caging him in. "I–" he pauses. "Can't–" his chest sounds like it's about to give out any second.
Instead of pressuring him into speaking, I bundle him into a hug. He presses his forehead down onto my shoulder as I rub his back in soothing strokes. "Breathe," I instruct him when he starts choking on air. "Inhale really deeply, hold it if you can. Then back out again."
Finn takes a few moments to take in what I'm saying, I pull away and hold him at arm's length as he hangs his head. His breathing slows but I can hear the pain inside. It's destroying him and I wish I could somehow take this away from him, from Ivy, from this entire town.
