39 | test subject

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J J W O O D F O R D


I couldn't slip away from the house party as easily as I thought. Finn was practically glued to my side, sad he got pied off because he was too drunk and sloppy. I don't blame the girl, I doubt his mouth even worked. He could barely spring two sentences together.

Ivy might have been waiting up for me. All I knew was that I missed her.

Being around Finn's drunk antics is no longer fun, it's taxing. A chore and I'm not his babysitter. It was obvious he was annoyed and upset about Tom and his friends ambushing us again–or us swinging first. We've all got cuts and bruises developing on our faces but none of us seem to care.

At around eleven I escaped the party and slung my best friend onto Cal instead so that I could head home.

I wasn't even drunk. I had four beers over the course of six hours. Finn probably quadrupled that.

I left Ivy a couple of text messages to which I got no reply. Dread wracked through my body because I said that I wanted her but she knows how clingy Finn can get. When I arrive home, I decide not to knock on her door in case she's asleep. I know today definitely would have been taxing on her too.

Tomorrow I'll make it up to her because I should have stayed with her tonight. But I knew she had Daisy. When I lay in bed my stomach twists, Daisy isn't her only friend. She has Isaac and Harriet too.

Seeing Isaac's hands on her made me see red. I've never felt jealousy like that before.

Too much adrenaline. I barely recognised myself. Ivy was right, it was uncalled for and she isn't my property to be ordering around. I've just found myself extremely protective of her–possessive sometimes.

After everything that happened with Ben, the last thing she needs is me acting like a caveman. I'm ashamed of how I came across but knowing that people have hurt her in the past, now all I want to do is protect her.

In my head she's mine. No one else's. We both know that. I need to get a grip on my reactions because I don't want to push Ivy away in the process. I want her to feel safe, not on edge.

I owe her an apology for being such an asshole when I should have known better.

The next morning I wake up fairly early. I peek my head inside Finn's room to make sure that he made it home and when I do, he's still dressed in yesterday's clothes. Passed out and on top of the covers.

At least he made it back in one piece. He'll be there all day.

I make my way downstairs and find Ivy making herself breakfast. She doesn't look up when I descend the stairs but I know she can hear me. I frown as she keeps her eyes low. Of course she's pissed off.

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