After experiencing a life-altering tragedy, Emersyn feels as if her world has collapsed. Attempting to accept her new reality, Emersyn wonders how she can possibly keep going when it feels like her life ended months ago. Until she meets Haven, and s...
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I spend most of Saturday morning thinking about Haven.
Typically, my thoughts of Haven are simple and sweet, all golden sunlight and sunflowers. Now, however, my thoughts are dark and scary, like a gray storm surge during a hurricane.
Witnessing her strange behavior at the beach has not left my mind. I replay the moment endlessly, my brain refusing to allow me peace over the situation. She had been fine by the time we left, and she has seemed like her old self ever since our return. However, I simply can't seem to let go of what I saw and what it might mean–if her behavior means anything at all.
Mom goes out in the morning. I'm still in bed when I hear her leaving, though this doesn't bother me. I assume she has gone out to the store and will be back shortly. After an hour or so, I finally manage to pull myself out of bed. I go about my typical routine before padding into the living room. I have just put on a movie and curled up on the couch when the sound of my mother returning echoes around the house. I pause the movie and turn to the front door, picking up my mother's voice in the yard. I listen intently, unsurprised to find she isn't alone. Peeking through the window, I find Mom waving over at Beau from where he stands in his driveway, gathering his mail. I'm not trying to spy as I witness their interaction, gazing mindlessly through the glass as Mom and Beau converse for far too long before she finally enters the house.
"Good morning, honey," Mom says nonchalantly as she walks in, hanging her coat up by the door before wandering into the room I occupy. "I didn't know you were up. I would have asked if you wanted to to go with me."
I shrug in response. I'm so preoccupied with thoughts of Haven, I don't even question what my mother had been talking about with Beau or where exactly she had gone earlier. "I couldn't sleep."
Mom purses her lips as she stares me down. I try to ignore the way her eyes cut daggers into my skin, though I fail. Surely, Mom can sense I am not in the best of moods. She's my mother, after all.
"Is something bothering you, Em?" Mom asks gently. Worry lines her features, creasing into her forehead and dimming her gaze. I know she's trying to figure out if I'm thinking about it, but for once I'm actually not.
"I'm okay," I assure Mom. Instantly, she inhales a deep breath, as if her concern for me had literally taken the air from her lungs. And though I am okay in the sense that I am not currently overwhelmed with grief over losing my father, I'm not being entirely honest. I hesitate for a moment, debating over whether or not I should share this fact with my mother. I am suddenly hit with a memory of the argument Mom and I had gotten into the day after homecoming, when she had been acting odd about my relationship with Haven. It is this recollection that has me sitting up, speaking without thinking.
"Do you know something that I don't?" I blurt. I am immediately taken off guard by my own question, as that had certainly not been the way I wanted to start this conversation. However, I don't regret the words. I can't let go of what I witnessed at the beach with Haven and now thoughts of my previous argument with my mother are festering in my mind, both situations confusing and irritating me due to my lack of understanding. Yet I can't stop myself from questioning if maybe my mother's strange warnings that afternoon may have something to do with Haven's odd behavior.
