35 | orbital decay

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I had been planning to take my mother's advice and ask Haven if there is anything that has been bothering her, though it seems I have no need to

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I had been planning to take my mother's advice and ask Haven if there is anything that has been bothering her, though it seems I have no need to.

Over the course of the next week, Haven is seemingly back to her usual perky, radiant self. She gives no indication that there is anything wrong with her at all–nor that there ever was. As the time I spend with her increases, I begin to wonder what I had been so worried about concerning Haven in the first place.

I worry that my father's passing has left me with some issues that are still unresolved. I tend to overthink everything until my brain hurts, taking every miniscule detail about something I love and turning it into a worst-case scenario. I am still trying to come to terms with Dad's loss; I am still trying to get used to life without him. Deep down, I suppose losing Dad has left me with a fear of losing everything.

I snap out of my thoughts when I absentmindedly take notice of Haven eyeing me, her appearance jolting me back to reality. It is the warmest autumn day we have had in months, so the two of us and our friends have decided to spend lunch period sitting outside in the courtyard. I can't stop myself from staring as Haven sits cross-legged in the grass, basking in the glow of the sunlight above. She looks so beautiful as golden light beams down on her, like a real angel descending from heaven. As I eye her, a feeling of peace courses through my veins. I have nothing to fear. Haven has proven to me countless times that I will not lose her. I do not have to be paranoid, or stress, or worry because Haven truly has given me no reason to. Surely, if there happened to be anything serious bothering her, she would have told me by now.

Haven catches my gaze and smiles knowingly once she finds me staring, the gesture illuminating her features. I still get butterflies when she looks at me, her eyes on mine causing my stomach to twist and turn, though the feeling is not unpleasant.

Tyler and Brendan sit to the right of us, causing quite the rowdy chaos (per usual). The boys are arm wrestling to decide who gets to lay claim to Haven's unwanted chocolate milk. Kiara and Amira laugh as they huddle close together and watch some video on one of their phones. Despite the commotion, I am solely focused on Haven, unable to distract from her even if I wanted to. She has a way of grabbing my attention and stealing it, though I don't mind. I'd willingly spend forever in the daze only she is able to pull me under.

Haven's smile suddenly turns coy, the gesture telling me that she is painfully aware of the grip she holds over me.

"You're staring," Haven blanches smugly. She proceeds to kick my foot with hers as we both sit sprawled atop the grass, side by side.

"Sorry," I mutter in return, though truthfully I am not. My smile widens into a smirk as I hold Haven's atmospheric stare. "I just can't help myself."

Haven rolls her eyes, though the flush that rises to her cheeks insists she isn't truly annoyed by my teasing. "You have such a way with words, Em."

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