The Wounds of Our Past // Gerard Way x reader

8. I MUST BE CLEAN

"I can't believe you're real."

He said looking up at the sky. He had the faintest smile on his face, but it was noticeable enough with the dim light coming off the restaurants neon logo.

"What do you mean?" He sighed lightly and turned to me.

"I've been thinking about seeing you again for years. I was never sure what I'd do when you eventually returned. I thought I'd be too scared to face you again, with how I acted and all. You really never deserved that, yet you put up with me for years. You'd smile at me and try to joke with me. Like I didn't treat you shit. I was scared of you. Scared of what you'd think of me now."

After he admitted this, he looked like he couldn't breathe. Like his life depended on what I said next.

"Yeah, I really didn't deserve what you put me through." I laughed and continued, "But, I always hoped that maybe one day, you'd be open with me and smile back like you use to. I guess I kept trying because I missed that part of you. You showed it off to everyone but me. I guess I knew you hated me back then, so I thought you still would. Sorry for getting all defensive when I first saw you, I was just ready to start building some walls."

He let out a scared breath and quickly said, "But I never hated you! I- I just pretend to!" He looked back at me and turned away. "It doesn't matter now. But trust me, you were never hated by me. I admired you. I even found myself wanting to be you sometimes. You were just so passionate about everything. You're stage presence was so cool too! Everything about you was just amazing..." He finally said.

I felt tears grow into my eyes.

He never hated me?

At that point he had turned back at me. He was like a magnet. I felt obliged to get closer and hug him tightly. He returned the hug and we sat there just taking in the moment. "I missed you so much." He breathed out faintly. I gently patted his head. I smiled and pulled away.  He was about to say something before shining headlights made him mute.

Our uber was here.

We got in and joked and caught up a little on the ride to the hotel. I quickly paid for my own room and made sure it was close to the boys' rooms. Gerard walked me to my room before we finally said goodnight and went different directions.

Once I got in there though, it dawned on me, that I really had nothing on me but my phone, my wallet, and the clothes on my body

I desperately needed a shower so bad. But I couldn't just get clean and then put back on my dirty clothes. I paced back and forth across the room to decide what to do. Everyone exchanged numbers with each other earlier, so I could ask any of them for help. I really only needed Mikey, but I was certain he was asleep and there's no way he has extra clothes on him anyway. So that left Gerard to be my rescue.

I was having a mental war with myself on asking him for help. I decided I needed the shower more than my dignity, so I texted him.

y/n - hey g

Gerard - hey y/n/n

y/n - need a favor

Gerard - ?

y/n - i really need a shower and nich o ass has all the clothes i bought in his car

y/n - do you think anyone would have any spare clothes on them, or maybe the hotel would have robes????

Gerard - ofc everyone would have spare clothes on them

Gerard - except you and mikey ;)

y/n - ......

Gerard - but i can help! i'll be right over with some of mine you can borrow

y/n - no i don't wanna be a bother

Gerard - already on my way

A few minutes pass and I found myself sitting on the floor waiting for a knock on my door. I was like a damn dog waiting for it's owner to come home from work. Eventually the sacred knock came and I opened the door way too fast; so now Gerard knew I had waited right by it.

He looked at me and smiled. He had changed into comfortable clothes and looked happy and more relaxed. He handed me the neatly folded clothes he had in his arms. I accepted them graciously. "Thanks so much! I dunno what I'd do without you." He blushed and said, "Well it's no problem y/n/n. Don't want you to get all stinky and stench up the place." He looked embarrassed at what he said and awkwardly tried coming back from it.

I laughed nonetheless. He stopped his rambling and smiled at me. "I- I'll see ya in the morning." He said. "Sure thing! Wanna raid the breakfast buffets?" He paused. "Wait, please tell me they're still a thing?!" He laughed at my question and said, "Yeah they're still a thing. And yeah, I'd love to." I smiled and said goodnight to him again. He did the same.

He turned and started walking to his room. I quickly said, "Thanks again!" He turned, smiled, and gave me a thumbs up.

I closed the door and  sat the clothes down on my bed. I quickly texted Mikey everything that had happened between Gerard and I. It felt like being a teenager again. I was just so happy Gerard and I were friends again. Then I went and took a shower. After I was done, I went back to my bed and took a good look at the clothes he offered me.

It was a simple black ac/dc shirt with star wars bottoms. No undies. NOT THAT IM COMPLAINING THATS WEIRD. I went back and grabbed my own and quickly washed them in the sink with the weird hand soap the hotel provided.

Once I was finally dressed, I laid down into the bed and thankfully went to sleep without thinking twice.

(authors note)

TWO CHAPTERS IN ONE DAY?

nah this was supposed to be apart of the last one but it was almost three thousand words long and i thought to myself, "eh, might as well make this into two chapters so it makes up for the past couple days of being mia." AND SO I DID!!!!! NWAJHSAJHA