The Wounds of Our Past // Gerard Way x reader

29. cover me

My world stopped for a moment.
"You think I'm a whore...?"
I was met with silence. Gerard knew what had been said. They knew it was horrible of them to say that to me, to anyone! He looked upset with the both of us.
"Do you?"
He looked up at me and winced slightly. He sighed, "No, I..." he looked away.
Metaphorically, I'm a whore?
"Listen, I didn't mean it to sound like that..." They wouldn't look me in the eyes. "I just meant.... um..."
"I know you think... it's bad... but... uh..."
That's denial number four.
"What made you say that?"
"I know how you feel about him..." "What?? Who are you talking about?!" "Don't act stupid! You're totally leading him on, while making m- others feel like they have a chance!" "What??? I'm so confused! I don't know what you're talking about!" "SEE! YOU ARE A WHORE!"
Woah. "Who am I leading on?!"
He opened his mouth to say something but then quickly shut it. "It's getting late..."
"I'll stay awake."
"No, ugh, just drop it, okay? You clearly are too fucking up your ass to realize who you're hurting!"
"What'd I ever do to you?!"
"What haven't you done to me! Gosh, you're a real joke of a person!"
"I'm insignificant!"
"No you're not! Just leave! Okay? Now that I've made the mistake of adding you to the band, I have to see you too much already. Just save me the headache and leave."
"Please, I'm so sorry! I don't know what I did... if I could I will set my soul on fire."
"God, save me the bull shit! You're nothing but a-"
"A what?? What have I become?"
"Leave."
"I'm sorry."

Gerard.

That's the pretty person's name.

I don't think they like me.

Maybe I was a whore?

Who did I whore myself off to?

I've got this ringing in my ears and none on my fingers.

I'm not married?

Why would a whore get married?

The groom's bride would be a whore, right?

Maybe that's a bad example.

The ringing is getting louder.

And it's so hard to breathe.

It's like...

Someone is begging me to get up.

I can't.

I'm trapped in a cycle.

I need Gerard.

I know he hates me.

But I think whoever I was, whore or not, I loved him.

Maybe deep down he loved me?

I'm trying to pry my eyes open, but it's like nothing I do works.

I've got this voice in the back of my head.

"We've been here this whole time."

"You were asleep."

"Time to wake up."