figure my heart out // muke

14

The cars on the road were distantly dispersed and we didn't talk the whole drive back. We didn't stop at the motel either, I just kept driving. I didn't know where to, I just wanted to drive to clear my head.

Luke was sitting in the passenger seat beside me with his long legs squished between the seat and the front compartment. It made me laugh on the inside knowing that he couldn't us me as 'his' footrest while I was the one driving.

"Can we go to the bottle shop?" He piped up, "I want to get some beer."

I pondered for a moment if it was a good idea or not. "Are you thinking of getting drunk tonight?" I inquired.

"Maybe..." His voice trailing off and in the corner of my eye he started to look out the window in concentration.

"Okay, we can go." I caved.

The drive to the bottle shop was short and silent. That was the usual pattern of our trips, short and silent. We were used to it by now, the silence settled in was comforting.

I parked the car and slumped back in my seat, waiting for Luke to go inside on his own accord. "You coming?" He asks me and I was genuinely surprised he had offered.

I faced him, not really knowing if I should or not. I usually didn't drink, not because I didn't like the taste or the feeling of being drunk but because I was a heavyweight - it took me a lot to get drunk. While everyone around me usually felt tipsy after their first drink, I would feel fine.

It was the fear that if I got drunk, what if I didn't remember anything the next morning? What if I was the only one who couldn't remember a single thing but everyone else did? The thought scared me, I didn't like not being in control especially when drunk.

"Umm," I debated, still deciding if it was a good decision or not. "Okay."

We got out of the car and I locked it, swirling the keys around my fingers and landed them safely into my pocket. The sliding automatic glass doors opened for us as we trotted in. There were shelves upon shelves stocked with different labels of alcohol - personally beer was my favourite.

I trailed behind Luke, watching him pass every aisle until he switched directions towards the beer aisle. I watched him grab a 6 pack of Coronas and he nodded at me pleased. "These?" He asked me.

I didn't know why he was asking for my approval on the brand of beer he chose, "Sure." I smiled as he smiled back. Luke Hemmings directly smiled back at me. I felt a sense of happiness rush over me. He also cared about my opinions too.

This was definitely a difference from when we first met. This was definitely different than from any other interaction we had. Why did it feel so right?

I followed him to the check-out, "Is that all?" The buff dude behind the counter who looked around the age of 43 and balding grunted.

"Uhhh, yeah" Luke's voice was small, was he really intimidated by this 5'9 tall guy when he towered over him?

"That comes to $21.99," Luke nodded, taking out his wallet from the back pocket of his loosely fitting black dress pants and beeping his card against the card reader. The payment processed and he placed his card back in his wallet and put his wallet back in his back pocket. "Receipt?" The worker asked with a deep gruff.

"No thank you." Luke said as he grabbed the six pack and scurried away, I followed quickly behind. He went to his side of the car and I went to mine as I took out the car keys from my pocket and unlocked the car. We both hopped into the car and our car doors collided at the same time. Luke placed the carton under his seat as he leaned back and sighed, putting on his seat belt.

"You know, I find it funny he intimidated you." I addressed in a half-teasing tone. "You stand several feet taller than him, he should be scared of you."

Luke's face was ghostly pale, all the colour was drained out of it. He looked embarrassed staring wide-eyed at his fidgeting fingers. "I wasn't intimidated, I was turned on."