figure my heart out // muke

17

"This is a nice beachside restaurant!" Ashton complimented as Luke and I groaned. We were sat next to each other and were silently suffering at the fact both Ashton and Calum dragged us to this fancy seafood restaurant. The only thing I liked is that our table was next to a wall of glass which framed the ocean view perfectly.

I stared at my menu and pondered on what I should get.

Lobster? Too expensive.

Shellfish? Too vague.

Oysters? Heard they're a natural aphrodisiac.

Clam chowder? What the fuck-

"What the fuck is clam chowder?" It was almost like Luke could read my mind, "How the hell do you chowder a clam?"

Ashton shook his head in disbelief, "You really are stupid, you know that?"

"I'm wondering the same thing." I defended Luke, my eyes taking him in for a split second before turning to look back at the menu in front of me. After having no luck deciding, I shoved the menu on the table and crossed my arms comfortably over my chest.

"Chosen already?" Calum lifted his head and gestured to me.

"Nope." I replied.

"Well you have to eat something." Ashton stated.

"I'd rather eat a dick than whatever's on this menu."

A laugh escaped Luke's lips as he mimicked me by shoving his menu on the table as well. "I mean, you could always eat mine if you're that hungry." The corner of his mouth turning into a full-on smirk.

To entertain or to not entertain, that was the question. Usually I'd join in on the light-hearted banter but I still felt weird doing it knowing his confession.

Ashton looked at me eagerly, I knew he was waiting for me to retaliate, to say something to insult Luke's dirty-mindedness but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Not when I know that he wants to get better, that he wants to change for himself.

"No banter today Mikey? Hey? Hey?" Ashton juggled his shoulders while smiling, hoping that it would rile a reaction out of me.

I rolled my eyes at him and shook my head, "No, I'm not reciprocating Luke's moves." Even though that was a small tattle tale since I had reciprocated Luke's moves once (they didn't need to know that though).

"Hmm, weird," Luke hummed as I cranked my head over to Luke with his eyes attentive on his fingering flicking. "I remember you kissing me last night. That means you are reciprocating my moves."

This fucking bitch, every time I think he's going to change or improve himself he puts the blame back on me. It's almost like he's ashamed that he made the first move on me.

"Hmm, weird," I mocked him, "I remember you were the one who kissed me. I just happened to of had reciprocated for one second." I spat.

"Hey, Hey." Calum put down his menu and clasped his hands on the table which made Luke and I snap our eyes to his direction. "No more fighting please, we are in a fancy restaurant."

"Well, he started it." I continued, pointing my thumb at Luke and readjusting myself in the wooden chair so my posture was straight.

"Not my fault you kissed back."

"OI-" Calum shouted probably a bit too loud for this restaurants ettique. He calmed himself down with a few deep inhales and exhales and the continued. "How about we talk about your love life Michael and how you haven't had eyes on anyone since that one guy in grade 11."

I tensed up at the mention of my first (and last) crush I had ever experienced. I didn't want to talk about it. I didn't want to go into detail about it. I didn't feel like explaining it. Even though I was very open about my asexuality, my aromanticism was different. It was difficult to explain to someone who had never felt a lack of attraction in their whole damned life. And I wasn't even going to explain it in a lousy restaurant where everyone was side-eyeing us because of Calum's previous yell.

"You haven't dated anyone since grade 11?" Luke cracked his head in my direction, furrowing his eyebrows in disbelief and shaking it off. "Wow, I thought since you've screwed so many people there would be a diamond in the rough somewhere." He raised his eyebrows in shock and then relaxed his whole face.

"Do we have to talk about this right now?!" I exclaimed, frustration directed at Calum for bringing up my past like this. "How about we talk about the fling happening between you and Ashton, huh? I know you two have been shagging in your rooms. I know the face of a pleased man when I see one."

Ashton's faced dropped as he tried hiding behind his menu from what I assumed was embarrassment, "Well at least he fucks me good." Calum shot back and I cackled.

"So it's true then?"

"WHAT?" Luke yelled, earning disapproving eyes from around the room. Luke blushed from embarrassment for causing a scene and lowered his voice, "What?!" He yelled below a whisper.

Calum nodded with a massive grin forming on his face.

"So who tops?" I asked, mainly to just get back at Ashton for being a jerk.

"Well I-"

"I do." Ashton smacks the menu down onto the table as he cut off Calum. Calum gave him a quick glance and gasped. Ashton's eyes followed Calum's move, "What?!" He said out loud.

A short blonde-haired waitress came up to our table and as we prepared to order she interrupted us, "We've gotten a few complaints from a few tables about you guys causing a fuss. Apologies for any inconveniences but I'm going to have to ask you to leave."