A real story... My story.

Grade 5

Grade five i am really trying to remember but i don't think I'll be able to say much about it.

This year I'm pretty sure I told the guy I like, well that I liked him and on valintines day to. I felt like I was going to throw up all day. When I gave him the card I told him if he opened it at school I would kill him, arn't those just romantic words. After that, one of his friends started staring at me, well more like smirking at me like he knew, and well I guess it was pretty obvious. 

I had gotten home that day and thought that this would all plow  over but the next day I was popular everyone was talking about me and him. I kind of like it but didn't.  I think that that yaer I really gained a voice and I still really trusted every one but I started becomeing more cautious of who I trusted.

I had only had a party that year that I can remeber and it was aweful as one of the people I invited had to bring there little sister along. What kind of mom makes a sister bring her little sister to a fucking birthday party? Like what the hell is going through her head while she's on the phone with me? 

After that I never had a sleep over i don't think. Ya see I had a very lonely child hood at that point but I guess that's the way it was with me. I never really had a good friend to hang out with at the mall or at eachothers house. But this year I guess was one of my happiest, and if you when back and asked me if I would ever get depressed I would have said never in this life time. But man would I be wrong. I'm getting a head ache just thinking about it. 

At this point I was still a girly girl and my mom liked it that way. I would always wear skirts and pink, I always wanted to be dark but never could because at that point I was happy but now that I think I never was truley happy because everyone else was dating everyone else and I guess I just felt out of it because no one liked me. It hurt that I was still the fat and kind and nieve person that I wwas I just never knew it at that point.

I became worried when the school was gonna make all the grades 456 go to a different school and it would just be kindergarden and 123's but at the end of that year they let us stay for the last year. I was estatic about it we were finally the "big kids" of the school which was great. Yet it sucked because we had to do everything from fundraisers to the christmas concert. 

Speaking of the Christmas concert I was in the background as always... The lighting person... I shone a light on to all the actors and actresses and my hands would burn from the hot light in my hands and no one would even notice me as they stood infront of me watching the little skits being played. 

I think all through my life I have felt alone and not just because I was single but because no one really understood me or took me seriously for that matter. No one actually acknowledged my exixtence in any way possible. I guess I was thankful some how but yet I wasn't.

Every time the boys would leave for a day i would wear something daring that I would never wear for the boys to see and people would judge me on it. I remember a day were I wore gloves that had the thumb and fingers gone and my teacher called me Micheal Jackson. All the girls laughed at me for that. Does that teacher even know what Micheal Jackson wears? He only wears one glove. Idiot. 

At the party we played twister and more some stupid fucking reason Emma decided to go through my closet and put on my favorite angel costume, I told her to take it off but no miss bitchy Mc. Bossy pants had to push me around about it and had to play twister in it. She stretched, fatty.

After the party was over I was joyful. I hated that party half of the people I invited I didn't even like but my mom made me invite them. I invite who I want to invite to my own freakin parties! 

The summer of that year I do remember very well. I went to Poland that summer but three days before I left my dog got hit my a huge truck at 2 am my dad found him in the ditch still alive but not by much. He brought him to the hospital but they knew that he wouldn't survive. The next morning I called for him and my dad burst into tears like I am right now. But when he told us I did not cry I simply sat there not thinking anything but I stared into space I don't remember what I was thinking but I think that's a good thing I guess.

Poland? Well I couldn't talk to any one we had to walk every where which wasn't bad but getting chased my a huge ass dog was a problem. Your probably laughing and ya I was to at the moment. My brother got chased three times two on foot and one on a bike. Yet the one thing that bothered me was that my grandma had to come with us. She expected us to know everything while we were there and when your almost on the other side of the world as your parents it hurts to not be able to hug them while you cry yourself to sleep.

I don't think I can talk about this any more or I'll short circuit my computer with all the tears that are being dropped on the key board.

A/N

Hey guys um I was wondering if you could give me some impute if you guys actually enjoy reading my life's story and can relate or if I'm just bugging you thanks.

-::Sarah::-