Cliché (Andy Biersack)

Hide and Seek

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the night, my boyfriend and I were having a fight.

No, I'm kidding, actually, I just wanted to try my hand at poetry. Andy and I weren't actually fighting. It was just a little misunderstanding because someone was forcing me to watch a romantic movie with him.

"Come on, Sophie, 'Pride and Prejudice' is a fucking classic!" Andy said, crossing his arms.

"Andrew, you know how I feel about romantic movies. They give girls a false belief that there's a tall, dark, tortured stranger out there that will completely change for them because they are the one for him. That shit simply doesn't happen in real life and I don't want to waste my time on it."

"Excuse you, but I am a tall, dark, tortured stranger and I did change for you because you're the one for me. What do you mean that shit doesn't exist?!" He asked.

"That is beside the point, Andy. I won't watch 'Pride and Prejudice'."

"What if it really means a lot to me?" He asked.

"Don't you dare play that card with me, sir!"

"Don't you care about me, Sophie?" He puckered his lower lip and gave me his best puppy eye look.

"Ugh, fine but is there any way for us to compromise on this? Like, is there a version of the movie where the lead character becomes a serial killer or something?" I asked, giving in.

"Close! There's a thing called 'Pride and Prejudice and Zombies..."

"Sounds perfect," I smiled.

"High five for compromise! We're totally killing this relationship thing, babe!" He said, high fiving me. I shook my head in disbelief at him. He found the movie on one of the many streaming servers online, while I made both of us a rum and coke. I needed to be at least tipsy to enjoy this movie.

He pressed play and put his arm around my shoulders. I snuggled into him and inhaled his scent.

I was surprised when I found myself actually interested in the plot of the movie. Apparently, some parts of it were truer to the original plot of the book than other versions.

Elisabeth Bennet was just beginning to fight off a zombie when I started rolling a cigarette. I was on the edge of my seat the entire time. Before I could light my cigarette, someone started banging on my door. I jumped up, startled.

"Who could that be at such a late hour?" Andy asked, pausing the movie.

"Sophie? Are you in there?" I heard Sam's muffled voice.

"Shit," I hissed. "You gotta hide. She can't find us here together."

The banging continued.

"Where am I supposed to hide?" Andy asked.

"I don't know, figure something out. Now!"

We both got up and while I walked over to my door, Andy snuck away to my bedroom.

"Jesus Christ, Samantha. Do you know what time it is?" I asked, opening the door.

"He asked me to move in with him!" She said, sounding completely distressed.

"What?" I asked.

"Ronnie. He asked me to move in with him," she said, plopping herself down on my couch.

"And you're here because...?"

"Because I can't do that. It's too soon. I've never lived with a guy before. How do I even know if we're compatible? What if I realize he's actually really gross and doesn't put the toilet seat down when he pees? Or what if he doesn't shower every day?" She said, starting to hyperventilate.