The Offering

Chapter Thirty Six - Daella

"You stopped going to the library after classes." Roux says beside me as I sit staring at the half empty plate in front of me. I blink and turn towards her.

"Oh, yes, well I still go there to get books, but I don't really read there anymore." I say, picking up my fork.

"I've been there once or twice but I haven't seen Prince Alvaryn there either." She says softly, eyes on her plate.

I don't know what to say. "Oh," Is all that comes out of my mouth.

"I suppose he doesn't spend all of his free time there, or maybe he goes in the mornings." She shrugs and I nod, thinking that he probably deliberately goes in the mornings to avoid the other chosen or just to get some peace and quiet.

"I'm not sure." I say softly, stabbing a piece of potato and shoving it into my mouth. It had been a little while since Alvaryn and I had spent time in the library together I had almost forgotten about Rue's visit with us. It isn't surprising she asked me about it, I'm actually more surprised that she waited so long.

Thoroughly exhausted, mind still haunted by the kiss from today I walk back to my rooms ready for a night of little sleep and too many thoughts.

"Miss Daella," I stop, gasping in fear at the thought of who is behind me as I hear my name. I turn, finding Demwyn standing in front of me with his hands held behind his back, I smile warily with a curtsy.

"Your Highness."

"Demwyn, please," He nods in returns. "I was hoping we could talk for a moment."

"Of course," I answer nervously, wandering what in the world he could want to talk to me about.

Maids and servants pass us, ignoring us as they get on with their work but I wished they wouldn't. I wished one would come up to us with a message for Demwyn pulling him away.

"I know you have a relationship with both my brothers." He begins and I look up at him cautiously, trying to remind myself to breathe.

"Yes, I am friends with both of them." I answer with a nod. Gods had he heard about the kiss? Did someone see? Is he mad? Of course he is, he doesn't even like me.

"Right, and I am sure you are aware that the selection is approaching quickly. My brother's and I have important decisions to make and it would be best if they have no distractions."

"Distractions?" I ask softly.

"Yes, they spend so much of their time with you I fear they are being distracted and not focussing on the selection. You wouldn't want them to make the wrong decision at the selection, would you?" He asks, expression earnest as he studies me.

I shake my head quickly. "Of course not."

"So you will understand why it would be best if you stopped spending time with them."

I stare at him in shock. "What?"

"Neither of us want them to be distracted, so the smartest thing to do would be to remove the distraction. If you stop spending time with them they will be able to focus their time on picking their future wife, not spending time with a friend." He explains and I feel my heart stop and start again, the word friend sounded different when he said it, like it was something bad.

I was a distraction. An unwanted distraction. Was he right? Were they wasting their time with me instead of spending time with the other chosen and picking a wife? Did it matter that I felt differently about them? That I didn't see them as just friends?

He lets out a small sigh. "I can tell that your friendship with them means something to you, as their brother, I only want what is best for them." He says and I look up at his earnest expression. Was he really trying to do what is best for his brothers? "It may be difficult right now, but I know when the selection is over and they have had time to think about it they will be grateful that you put this distance between you so they had time to focus on their decisions."

I feel myself nodding with his words though my heart doesn't agree with what he is saying. I did want what is best for them, and after today I doubted that was me. I mean it was going to happen eventually, right? I would stop spending time with them, I had hoped for more time, to say goodbye at least.

"So you will do what is right, and stop spending time with them?" He asks breaking my train of thought and making me look up at him.

I nod.

"Good, this really is for the best." He says with a nod before turning and leaving me alone in the corridor.

This really is for the best. His words linger in my mind as I stand there for a long while trying to get my thoughts into some kind of order but it's useless. They just keep circling around and around.

I was a distraction, I didn't want to be a distraction.

Would they be hurt if I stop spending time with them? Will they be angry? Would it be easier if I just cut ties now instead of torturing myself until the selection?

I feel my feet move as I walk towards my room. I hear the door shut behind me as I stand in the familiar space.

I can't spend time with them anymore. It would hurt. Even just the idea of it hurt. I place my hand over my heart feeling its strong crushing beats. The acceptance feels like a heavy boulder I have swallowed and now it just sits on my chest.

I sink to my knees, tears filling my eyes, the weight of my decision too much to hold up on my own. I would carry it with me every day as a reminder. Would it get easier to carry? Would it get lighter over time? The idea of not getting to say goodbye to them causes a sob to escape my lips as I hunch over still pressing my hand to my chest.

What did I think was going to happen? I was the idiot who had fallen for the both for them. Maybe this was the safest way of making sure neither of them find out. Gods why did it have to hurt so much?

The stories I read of heartbreak and the pain that comes with it sounded unrealistic up until now, now I believed every word of it. At least it was one sided. I would be the only one to suffer. I would keep it to myself and they would be better off for it.

Demwyn's last words just repeat themselves in my head.

It's for the best.

It's for the best.

It'sfor the best.