The Offering

Chapter Fourty One - Daella

I couldn't sit in my room anymore, I was going to go mad. The walls surrounding me, pressing in on me, and my thoughts running in circles with Aeris and the wild look in his eyes.

I shouldn't have said anything. I should have kept it to myself. But they had been upset, they wanted to spend time with me. But I didn't want to be their distraction.

"Dae," I hear his voice and stop suddenly, looking up to find Alvaryn standing in the corridor. I hadn't been paying attention when I was walking and now we stood outside the library.

"We need to talk." He says taking a step towards me.

"I'm not sure that is a good idea." I say quietly taking a step back, he notices and his expression hardens as he lets out a frustrated sigh before reaching forward quickly and taking my hand in his. He pulls me after him into the library and closes the door, standing in front of it he looks down at me.

"I know what Demwyn did, I know he told you to stay away from us, but you shouldn't listen to him, he doesn't know what he is talking about." He says quickly and I take a step away from him, feeling too close, worried I will do something stupid.

"I don't want to be a distraction to you Alvaryn." I say, trying to keep my voice firm.

"Is that what he told you? You are not a distraction Dae, if anything not being able to spend time with you is a distraction." He says taking a step closer.

I remember the kiss with Aeris, and imagining what it would be like with Alvaryn and try and shake the image from my mind. I can't do this.

"No, he's right, it's for the best if we just stop seeing each other. The selection is so close and I know you both have choices to make if you haven't already. I will be leaving soon." I say quietly, feeling a stab of pain in my chest at the idea of not seeing them anymore, at least not like this, not alone.

"I know there is more Dae, don't try and hide from me now, it's far too late for that." Alvaryn accuses, eyes studying me with his relentless ability to read me like a book.

"Stop doing that, stop using your magic on me like everyone else." I snap, losing my resolve, he is too close, and I can't breathe.

"You know I can't just turn it off Dae, besides I don't even have to use my magic. Everything in your expression, the sound of your voice, the way you are standing, all of it is screaming at me that you're hiding something from me. Just tell me whatever it is, it will be easier for both of us." He replies.

I shake my head. "No, this isn't something I can tell you." I pull away, trying to pull myself back into the tight little ball I had been holding it in.

"There is something, I knew there had to be." He says suddenly and I take another step back. "Don't do that, don't pull away. Just talk to me Dae, just words, that's all it is, just words and then we can share words, we can talk and share whatever it is and make all of this better." He says moving towards me, hands out, encouraging me to trust him.

"I can't!" I scream, tears welling in my eyes.

He looks at me in shock and concern.

I shake my head. "I don't know what to do Alvaryn. I am trying, trying to keep it all together, but every day it gets harder. I feel like I am going to lose my mind before all of this is over and then there will be nothing left of me, I will just be this empty shell, this stupid empty human shell, useless and soaked in anger."

"Listen to me Dae," He says calmly stepping towards me and taking my face in his hands, I melt at his touch. "Just listen Dae, you will not lose your mind, I wouldn't let you, okay, but I can't just stand by and watch you constantly blame yourself or doubt yourself. You are not useless, you have never been and will never be useless. You are strong and intelligent and kind and so beautiful, inside and out. Look at me Dae." He says, lifting my face so I am staring into his grey eyes, no longer storm clouds but heather grey, soft and open. He wipes the tears from my cheeks. "You know you can trust me, and Aeris, you are not alone in any of this. It is only a game Dae, just a game that you have to play, pretending to be what they want you to, only for a little while longer. But that doesn't mean that when the day ends, or when you are alone, when you are here with me, that you have to play that game. You can scream and you can shout, but I won't let you stand alone. You can try and keep playing this game by yourself but we won't let you forget that it is just a game, it isn't real, it isn't who you are."