REDEN | English version

010

010

previously on Reden...

— I'm sorry, Ceci, but I can't fulfill this fan desire of yours - Bill says, distancing himself from me, and I nod quickly.

— Still...

in this chapter...

Even after our super awkward conversation on the way to the agency, we ended up going together to the location and started working together. Bill, as always, sat at the control desk, and I stayed by his side paying attention to everything the elder was doing. I know what I said on the way was completely stupid, but I would hate to see Bill hurt. He's a radiant being and completely amazing. I can't let anything bad happen to him.

— What do you think? - Bill asks, but I don't hear him because I'm lost in my thoughts. - Ceci! - Bill calls me, and I look at him immediately.

— It's great, the fans will love it - I say, looking at him, and he nods, then looks into my eyes and puts his hand on my knee.

— I'm sorry for the way I spoke to you on the way - Bill says, and I look into his eyes, nodding.

— It was a slip, that conversation never happened - I say, and he smiles, looking at me.

— You're very special to me, you know that, Engel? - Bill says, looking into my eyes, and I smile weakly at him.

— You're special to me too - I say, placing my hand on top of his, and he kisses the back of my hand, looking at me.

— I'll miss you these four months, your company is great - Bill says, and I smile, looking at him.

— We'll still talk every day, and four months will fly by - I say, and he nods, looking into my eyes.

— I'm very grateful for you appearing in my life - Bill says, still holding my hand.

— Bill...

— No, seriously, I've never had anyone like you in my life. You know me better than anyone, understand me, try to help me, make me laugh. You're a great friend, Engel - Bill says, stroking my hand with his thumb. - You know what I've been through since I was little, you know about the pool incident...

— Bill, we don't need to talk about that, I know it's difficult for you - I say, looking at him, and he shakes his head.

— I want to talk about it, I want to talk about it with you - Bill says, and I nod immediately. - All my life it's been just me and Tom. Gustav and Georg helped, but they came a little later. Before that, I was always the weird one, the effeminate boy at school. When I started becoming successful, that's when the bullying increased - Bill says, looking into my eyes, and I place my hand over his. - Even with many fans and success, with you, I felt like you were the only one who understood me and never judged me at any moment - Bill says, and I smile weakly, looking at him.

— I've always admired you, Billy. I know what you've been through, and even before meeting you, I imagined how horrible it must have been to live with those memories. But you know how amazing you are - I say, and tears well up in his eyes as he looks into mine. - You're amazing, Bill Kaulitz, and I know you know that. You don't need me to tell you that - I say, and he nods, and I quickly wipe away his tear. He then pulls my arm, making me stand up, and he hugs me around the waist while he remains seated.

— Thank you - Bill says as he hugs me, and I hug him back, resting my chin on his head.

— You're amazing - I say softly just for him to hear, and he hugs me tighter.

[...]

A few hours later, I had already said goodbye to Bill. Tomorrow would be his last day in Germany before going on tour, and he would meet me early in the morning to say goodbye. Bill had changed my life. He was my idol, and I was completely in love with him before meeting him personally, and I wasn't wrong to fall in love with him. He was simply wonderful in every way. It hurt me a lot to know that he was wasting his love on someone who didn't love him back. He deserves so much more than he's getting. He deserves someone who loves him more than anything, and I needed to protect him from that.

— Ceci? - Bia says as she opens the door, and I look into her eyes, taking a deep breath.

— I'm in love with Bill Kaulitz...