We're in This Together

Episode 18

While I was getting ready for my work, my phone buzzed from the phone call from the living room. 

"Jenni someone is calling!" Adie called out from the living room. 

"I am coming sweetie" I swiftly replied and walk out to the living room to pick up the phone. It was from unknown number. I frowned for a while before I answered.

"Hello, it is Jennifer Alison saying" I swiftly answered. 

"Hello Miss Alison, it is from City, University of London" the man said. As soon as I heard the respond I gasped in realization. 'Oh, Shit' I mumbled to myself in my mind. While I was losing in my realization he added again. 

" Miss Alison, I am sorry about for your appointment for your Painting." he said. 

"Excuse Me?" I asked again. 

"Yeah, Miss Alison. We have a ceremony with our students for today. That's why can we move our appointment to the next schedule , If you don't mind?" he requested . 

"Sure, I am fine with that" I swiftly answered. 

"Thank you Miss Alison" he paused "So, which schedule do you want to change Miss?" he added again. I swiftly check my table calendar to check up my schedule. 

"What about upcoming Saturday?" after I take a few mins of silent, I added again. 

"Absolutely Yes, Miss Alison" he answered with bright tone. As we both change our schedule to upcoming Saturday, we both ended up our phone call. As soon as the phone call end up, I let out a huge sigh. 

"Who is it?" Adie slightly pulls my hand and asked me with full of curious eyes. 

"Well, it is from work Adie" I answered with smile and give her a pat onto her head. She also gives me a nod in agreement before she grabs her backpack to go to school. I also swiftly pick up my bag to start up my Work. 

"Shall we go?" I asked with small smirk to Adie. She gives me a hug nod with smile before we both quickly disappeared from our apartment. Changing the appointment is actually good for me. Cause, I think it still needs a little bit preparations for Final. So, changing the schedule is having an enough time for me. 

"Professor Alison!" while I was carrying the books back to the library, one of the student called out from behind me. I swiftly turn around with small smile.

"Yeah?" I asked with soft voice.

" Can I ask you about some tips?" she asked me with pleading eyes. 

"Sure, what do you want to know?" I added and we both keep walking towards the Library. 

"Please let me carry these for you Miss" she swiftly grabs my books into her arms. 

"Thank you" I give her a smile and give her a small pat onto her head. 

"I want to know about how did you learn those painting techniques that you use most of your paintings?" she asked with full of curious. "You know, you are really incredible with your drawing Miss Alison" she added again with compliment. I took a few seconds of silence before I make a respond. 

"Well, I think it is from my brother" I paused. "Uh..., he teaches me how to drawing sketch line when I was 4 years old. From that time, I really interested in drawing and painting. So, most of my painting techniques are his." I answered while we both step into the library. She slowly gives me  a nod after she eagerly listened to my words. 

"So, you didn't even attended any school for your drawing experience?" she asked. I give her a small nod before I make a response.

"What if I say Yes?" I answered with smirk while I was putting the books back to the shelfs by their place number. She gasped in surprised about my answer.

"No way" she added with widen mouth. I let out small chuckles at her. 

"So, you only learn all of your incredible things from your brother?" she asked again.

"Absolutely, yes!" I swiftly answered and we both took another line of shelf to place another couple of books. 

"I think he is really cool guy" she said with excitement tone. I give her a nod in agreement without looking at her. 

"Is he still drawing?" she asked. As soon as she asked, it make me paused in freeze. Maybe it took nearly a few mins that I was paused in the middle of the conversation by grabbing the book in my hand without making any responds. Until she grabs my arm and slightly shake it. 

"Professor?" she called out me to break my trains of thoughts. I quickly shake my head to remove it all. 

"I am sorry. What did you ask?" I asked her again. She looks at me with confusing eyes which are covered up with curiousness. 

"I was just asking" she paused and carefully looks at me. " Is he still drawing or painting?" she slowly asked. 

"No, not anymore. He stopped his drawing from the past several years" I answered with smile in which she gives me a nod in acknowledge. Then, we both having our own comfort silent until the school bell ring by signaling us that the lecture times are starting soon. 

"I think I have to go now, Professor" she swiftly said while she was giving the books back into my arms.

"Of course you are. Have a nice day!" I said with smile.

"Thanks, Miss Alison, for your help," she said with a smile as she waved goodbye and disappeared from the library like a breeze. By leaving me alone among the towering book shelve. I distracted myself by picking up one book after another, placing them back in their spots. I keep circling it for a few more mins .But with each motion, sadness crept over me and engulfing me completely. 

Tears .....

 They started to trickle down my cheeks, one by one.

The more I tried to control them, the more tears kept streaming down my face. With a heavy sigh, I attempted to steady my breathing by leaning back against the bookshelf for support. As soon as I felt the solid frame against my back, I sank to the floor while clutching the books close to me as if seeking comfort from their presence. Then, I hide my face into my arms as I surrendered to the overwhelming rush of memories flooding in my mind. 

Thoughts echoed relentlessly: "I should have stayed... I shouldn't have left him alone... I could have saved him." Each recollection crashed over me like relentless waves, leaving me engulfed in sorrow.

"What if he were still alive... Would he keep drawing, or would he choose to be a father... just like I chose?" I whispered to myself through tears while those questions lingering in the air amidst my sobs. But before I could delve deeper into these thoughts, my inner turmoil dragged me back into its grasp once again.

"Screw that... it will never happen to you," my inner voice snapped me out of my hopeful reverie and grounding me back in the harsh reality. 

"Yeah, you're right... None of that ever happened to me, not even once," I quickly admitted with a heavy heart, acknowledging the stark truth of my situation.

That is why ....I hate that "What if" feelings .....