ıll There's always room for 𝒊𝒎𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕, no matter how「 big or small 」your work is. If you're looking for 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒊𝒔𝒎 on your latest work, you've come to the right place!
Here at ❛ 𝐅𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐒 𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐑𝐀𝐈�...
It’s a very unique title. I have never seen a title like this before. However, I don’t recommend using an aesthetic font because some readers might not be able to read the text properly when scrolling.
Cover: 4/10
It has the title and the woman I assume is the protagonist. There should be some creativity involved. There’s a saying, Don’t judge a book by its cover but for this particular book, it’s very bland. I recommend having a graphic designer to design an amazing cover that will match the vibe of the story.
Blurb: 5/10
The blurb could’ve been elaborated. For example, I wanted to know more about the characters and the plot.But you managed to write in a few sentences about the overview of the plot.
Plot/Concept: 5//10
There isn’t much going on in the plot to be honest.
Pace: 5/10
It’s too quick for me personally. Especially introducing the characters in the story. And not a lot about the settings.
Characters and Character Development: 5/10
You introduced the character too quickly and there’s too many all at once. You should slow down and take the time to develop their personalities and motivations.
Grammar/Vocabulary: 6/10
There were several grammar mistakes in each chapter. For example, in dialogues there’s two periods instead of one. I recommend having someone to look over and proofread before publishing it.
Writing Style: 4/10
I would’ve enjoyed the book only if you had shortened the paragraphs.
Here is how you have written:
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Instead, you should’ve written something like this:
Afghanistan, 13tg century
The king is sleeping on his throne. One of his loyal followers said, “Look, he seems like he traveled from Delhi to Ghazni only to eat and sleep,”
A man replies, “Shareef Pasha, he came all the way here to get us. He insists that we attack Delhi together,”
Do you see how it’s not all together and confusing? It allows me to read the description and the dialogues a little better. Also you need to start showing and not telling. For example, you need to describe the king’s tired state. And there shouldn’t be a lot of dialogues. There should be an equal balance of descriptions and dialogues. I felt lost in the scene and didn't know what the setting was.
That’s something you need to work on.
Overall Impression: 6/10
To be honest, I didn’t really enjoy the story that well due to big chunks of the paragraphs. It was really confusing on who is speaking and there aren't a lot of descriptions to help me understand the situation. But the story has a lot of potential!
Rating in the book: 5/10
Total : 47/100
Follow the reviewer and make sure to show your appreciation.
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