Keep the rain [CL16]

Chapter 28 - Athena's P.O.V.

I never guessed that listening to a heart beat would be calming to me. Yet with my head on his naked chest, listening to the consistent thumps of his heart, I wished that I could start every morning like this. The consistent beats dared to lull me back to sleep, even though I really couldn't risk falling asleep again.

The summer sun shone through the big window on the side of the hotel room. His hand was beneath one of his shirts I borrowed, gently moving up and down on my back.

We didn't say a word as we just laid there. I enjoyed his company, being close to him.

It was Thursday, the 17th of June and even though we were in Canada, we used the moments we could get together. We traveled here together right after the GP in Azerbaijan and spent the past week together, exploring the city.

It all felt so natural. The week has been mostly normal, a few fans spotted us from time to time but there were days we could just spend like normal people. It made me forget that we were actually sort of famous and I appreciated it. It was the first time in this relationship that it felt normal. Just a man and a woman in a relationship. No press, no magazines, just us.

Another alarm went off and I grabbed my phone to turn it off. We would have to get up eventually, but resting in Charles' embrace was clearly more enjoyable than media day. I could've spent the whole day like this.

„How about we just ditch racing and stay like this?" My words came out with a rasp, since I haven't spoken a lot this morning, but was screaming the night before.

My head shock with the chuckle vibrating through his chest. He pressed a kiss on the top of my head but didn't say anything to my obvious joking request.

Silence fell over us again. Giving my thoughts time to move places I'd rather not have them.

When I saw the date on my phone display, a weird weight settled on my chest and it took me a second to realise where it came from. Before I was able to shake it off, focusing on Charles, his fingers on my back, his heartbeat under my cheek.

But now in the silence, there was nothing to focus my mind on, even though we were still in the same position.

July 17th.
One more month.
Four more weeks until Jules 7th death anniversary.

It's crazy to think about all the things that have happened in the past seven years, all the things Jules missed, all the things I did to keep his legacy alive.

I can remember the day like it was yesterday. The crash. The fear nesting into my bones. Days later, a pain like nothing else trembling through my body. A pain I would never be able to forget, resurfacing at least once a year.

I lost Jules. I lost Charles. And I got only one of them back.

In another world, that would be enough to heal the wound deep inside of me, but grieve doesn't conform to the rules of this world.

„Aza?" Charles moved his hand to my shoulder, gathering my attention.

„Hm?" I hummed.

He must've sensed a change in my behaviour, my dark thoughts overtaking my body.

„Where's your head at?" Charles was now playing with the tips of my hair, gently moving his fingers over them, twisting strands of hair around his fingers before releasing them again.

„Jules."

One word out of my mouth caused Charles muscles to tighten and his body to tense.
The before comfortable silence was replaced with a weight, the heavy air settling between us.