Mental Hospital.

Chapter 10

Chapter 10

I went to bed that night with the biggest butterflies in my stomach. I couldn't sleep for what felt like hours so I decided to do someone productive. I went to the cupboard and pulled all my clothes out, picking what I wanted to wear for my birthday. I haven't been caring at all about what I wore so I had the thought that I should at least try for once.

It took a while, and ending with half of my clothes back in my wardrobe, my outfit sitting on my bed and a pile of clothing in a need of a wash. I put the pile near my door so I would remember to take it to the laundry after breakfast in the morning. I moved my outfit off my bed and went to sleep, worn out.

I woke up quite early, I think my body just knew to wake me up earlier then usual, just for today. I got up and put on my outfit. Black high waisted skinny jeans and a white cropped knitted sweater. I put on my white converse and went to the bathroom.
I was humming a song to myself as I brushed my hair and put it in a high pony.

While getting ready I thought back to how I was mentally better from being in here. The counselling was actually doing me good and not just wasting my parents money. But I think mainly the people, and that not everything was revolved around my mental illness was helping me more than anything ever had.

Once I was finished I made myself a mental note to take my clothes to the laundry once I had eaten and seen my friends. I then left to have breakfast.

This was I earliest I've ever gone to the diner hall, I couldn't hear much clashing of cutlery or chatter. I walked in and there was only a handful of people. I looked over to my table and realised that Keegan was the only one there. I walked over to the table to see if he wanted to get breakfast, since there was no food in front of him. He must of heard me coming because he lifted his head and instantly smiled.

"Happy Birthday, little Emma!" He burst out in a loud, ecstatic way. He seemed much happier and willing to talk more then ever. I guess he was keeping his promise of being extra nice to me. "Thanks Keegan!" I replied, getting myself in a great mood, I think this will be one of the best birthdays in a long time. "Usually you're the last to get out of bed, must be the early birthday wake up you gave yourself." He chucked to himself and stood up. "I guess you want some breakfast then?" He asked, offering his arm like a gentleman.

We walked to the food line and were the only ones lined up. "So what were you doing before I came in?" I asked, he informing that he was just reading a book he found in the games room the other day. I ended up getting a juice, dry cereal, yogurt and berries for breakfast.

Keegan and I sat down back at the table and started chatting.
"I have to take some clothes to laundry after breakfast." I had slipped in while he was trying to help me plan what we should do for me today.
"Well I can come with you then, keep you company." He smiles, I notice that he starts to pick at the skin around his nails, waiting for my reply I presume. "Sure! That would be great, thank you." I say, giving more gratitude then needed, just to see how he reacts. He stops picking at his nails and tells me that 'it's a date'.

Once breakfast was done, non of our friends had come to the diner hall yet so we thought we should get the laundry done now and then come back to see them.

We walked to my room, Keegan commenting 'so this is your room' and me laughing at the irony, since all of the rooms are the same yet he seemed so surprised. I put all my clothes in a cloth bag I found in my cupboard and Keegan offered to take it for me. The thought of him carrying dirty panties and bras made me laugh to myself, refusing to tell him why I was keeping him out of the joke.

We finally got to the laundry room after we mucked around for 10 minutes while on the walk there. It was unoccupied so I took the bag and found an empty washer, putting my name in the slot to show whose clothes were whose. Keegan was not helping in anyway but just sitting on top of a dryer, picking at his nails.

"You know, I still haven't shown you what so had in mind last night." Keegan said, hopping off the dryer, the dryer making a popping noise as it fills the dint Keegan made with his ass.

"Oh yeah, I completely forgot." I said, trying not to sound sarcastic, cause that is what had kept me up last night. "Really? Cause I know I haven't." He picks me up and puts me on top of the clothes folding table, making us the same height.

"It starts off like this." He puts one of his hands around my waist. "Then this." He slides his other hand on my cheek. "Now comes my favourite part." He leans in, so do it. He wraps his hand more around my waist as I place one hand on his bicep.
He places his lips gently on to mine, I lean in further to fill the small gap. We start to kiss just a little deeper, I wrap my hands around his neck and run my fingers through his hair.
He starts to move a little faster, too fast for me, this was my first kiss. I pull back The smallest amount to let myself speak.

"We should probably go see the others." I whisper, eyes still closed, not even remembering closing them I the first place. I slowly open them to see him biting his lip slightly, staring right at me. He suddenly snapped.

"DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG? DID YOU NOT WANT TO DO THIS? OH SHIT, I MEAN SHE SEEMED TO LIKE IT WENT ALONG BUT MAYBE I WAS JUST THINKING THAT. FUCK! OH FUCKING HELL!" He first started yelling at me, yet changed the screaming to himself. He started pacing the room, picking at his fingers and running his fingers harshly through his hair.

"KEEGAN!" I scream

"I KNEW THIS WAS A RISK! SHES 13, IM 16, LESS EXPERIENCED, SO YOUNG-"

"KEEGAN!" I scream again, with a crack in my voice half way, where my tears started to jerk.
I turns to face me, I jump off the table and go up to him.

"It's not you, Keegan. I didn't want to go any further just right now. This is new to me, like you said but it's no ones fault. You didn't do anything that made me stop, I liked kissing you- HELL! I loved kissing you, but I want to save it, just for now. Let's not go to fast too soon okay?" He nodded and seemed to be holding back some tears.

"You have anger management problems don't you? Anxiety too, wanting to fit in, be excepted." He nodded again, pressing his lips firmly together. "You don't have to worry about that with me, I except you for who you are, Keegan. I have so many flaws, illnesses. I mean they haven't been that noticeable since being here cause I gotten some great help,
more than ever before. Some of that is thanks to you. I hardly worry much about the amount I eat, I just try and eat healthy foods. The medication and therapy really has helped with my schizophrenia. All the other little disorders and slowly died down. I want that for you, Keegan, you deserve that, to be without your illnesses."

"But I don't deserve to be with you."