Chapter 20
"Can you pass the potatoes?" Nathan said cheerfully. He was sitting on my right side while my brother was on my left.
I briefly wondered what would happen if I ignored his request, then pushed the bowl in his direction. I didn't want to cause problems over potatoes. That would be so immature.
I would rather be cool and emotion-less than childish and angry. Yes, I'm as cool as an ice cube.
"Lex?" He asked, using the nickname that he didn't deserve to use any more.
"What?" I snapped. I reminded myself that I was an ice cube.
"I was just going to ask if you wanted a spoon to eat with." His voice was calm but he was looking like a kicked puppy.
I looked down at my plate and realized that there was no soup spoon to drink my tomato soup with. I hadn't even looked at what was in front of me because I was trying to control the urge to run away all evening.
After accepting the spoon as gracefully as possible, I started eating. The adults did not include us in their conversation and I didn't mind. Nathan and Jake had to make conversation around me as I refused to speak. Ice cubes couldn't speak anyway.
For desert, we were served a delicious slice of chocolate cake with rasberry icing. I tried not to moan as I took the first bite. My parents could never cook like this. They were just too busy.
"Like it?" The devil on the right observed.
I gave a slight nod, refusing to use words.
"I helped." He grinned.
He helped make this amazing cake?! Why would the universe do this to me? I can't continue to be rude to someone who's nice to me all the freaking time and bakes cake as well.
I tried to block him out by remembering the great time I had at the Foster The People concert. Colour rose in my cheeks at the memory of Mark winking at me.
"Are you blushing? Yes, my culinary skills make many people weak in the knees." Nathan nodded knowingly.
"I can think of other people who can make me weak in the knees." My mouth said before I could think about what I was saying.
His face darkened. "Don't tell me it's your new friend."
"What? No! You should stop obsessing over him, it's quite unhealthy."
There was a sudden silence at the table. Everyone's eyes were on us.
"Son, if you have anything to reveal you can do it now. We are comfortable with you dating anyone." His father announced in an even tone. He had obviously heard the last sentence that had been uttered.
I burst into laughter.
"N-No..." he stuttered "Why does everyone get the wrong idea? I'm not like that."
My laughter grew louder as I recalled how Jasper had hit on him once because of a dare.
After dinner, when everyone had finished laughing and cleared the plates, we were given a tour of the Miller residence, since we had never really seen the whole thing.
We were led to Nathan's room where a grand piano took most of the space. As if in a trance, I walked up to it and ran my fingers over the smooth surface.
"Nathan has musical talent." His mother announced proudly.
"That's good to know." My mother's voice sounded strained. I looked at her, noticing that she was folding her arms together so tightly that her veins were standing out.
How could she hate music so much? Or maybe the question was why did she?
"Yes, we believe in letting him pursue his interests."
My mother smiled, seemingly out of words.
As if that was an invitation, his mother asked him to go play something for us.
"That's not necessary." Dad smiled, but he looked tense. What was going on?
"It's no problem. He would love to perform for you."
Nathan sat down and looked at me. He started playing the beginning to a song that sounded very familiar.
Then he started singing and my breath got caught in my throat. He was singing Perfect, my favorite Hedley song. I used to hum it all the time when we were younger.
"I'm not perfect, but I keep trying cause that's what I said I would do from the start." He sang, looking straight into my eyes as he did.
"I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave. Was it something I said or just my personality?"
Did he know how much those words were affecting me?
That saying about words never hurting was completely wrong. Each word felt like a slap to my face.
My hands curled up around me, like they could somehow keep me from falling apart. I couldn't consider forgiving him yet after how much he hurt me. But maybe I should hear him out.
But as the ending notes of the song were played, I reached a conclusion. If he could still hurt me after all this time just by playing a song, letting him back into my life would give him a lot more power over me.
He was the last person I needed to have power over me.
Jake actually complimented him. His observational skills were clearly lacking. My parents were starting to look a little more normal. They agreed with Jake and added their words of encouragement.
They were such hypocrites. Their own daughter was banned from music and they chose to encourage the neighbour?
I was the lead singer of a band with amazing people and I had to hide it.
I could almost imagine their judgemental eyes if they saw me with them.
No words were exchanged between us on the way home. Nobody cared to ask me what was wrong. I didn't mind because I wouldn't know what to say if they did.
All these years, I had coped. I had tried being the perfect child. But in the last few weeks, I had taken more risks than I had in my entire life.
Maybe it was time to speak up for myself.
In my room, I switched on my phone and read the worried text messages.
The rest of the band had been pretty worried when all the colour had drained out of my face and I marched out.
I sent quick replies and threw it on the table next to me.
As if on cue, I heard Perfect being played on a piano.
The music drifted up through my window and seemed to surround me, reminding me of something I would rather forget.
Suddenly, my brain came up with a brilliant idea. I picked up my i-Pod and selected a song that was to be played on the speakers which I kept near the window.
Just as the music stopped, I hit play.
"It's too late to apologize..." my i-Pod stated.
I grinned and threw myself on the bed.
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This one was more serious than usual, I know. The next one will be better hopefully.
On another note, my friend and I did a cover of perfect. Want to hear it?
Comment below. I might put it in the external link.
