Our Space

Chapter 16

Sami dragged his suitcase down the road. He'd let his mother know he was coming to stay for a week and ignored how she seemed to have sounded surprised but then indifferent. When Sami reached Uncle Ahsan's old house, he paused to look at the changes. The house had been freshly painted and there were flowers growing in the front yard. He contemplated knocking on the door and finding out who lived in the house now. Thinking that would be weird, Sami continued walking.

Sami thought back to what Uncle Ahsan used to say about his mother. Uncle Ahsan was a wise man and gave good advice on many aspects of Sami's life, but he wasn't perfect. It was clear Uncle Ahsan was angry at Sami's mother. It was he who questioned what sort of mother she was and told Sami that he deserved better. He told stories of his own mother which made Sami believe he was being wronged. Uncle Ahsan spoke of the value of a loving mother but didn't classify Sami's mother as deserving the same status. Perhaps that was why it took Sami so long to fully realise his duties.

Sami rang the doorbell and waited nervously. He rang the doorbell again and a short while later, his mother opened the door.

"Asalamu'alaykum," Sami said looking upon the familiar round face.

"Wa'alaykumusalaam. Come in," His mother said, stepping aside. Sami walked in and headed for the first room to sit in without waiting for his mother's instructions. They had to stop being so formal. Sami put his suitcase in the corner of the room and sat down, feeling panicky inside for doing all this before getting permission from his mother.

"Where's Manahil?" Sami asked, hoping he could possibly build a relationship with his sister too.

"She's out with her friends. Would you like anything to eat or drink?"

"No thanks," Sami shook his head. His mother stood awkwardly for a while before sitting down. "How are you?" Sami asked. He planned on keeping his sentences short so that his stuttering wouldn't make an unwelcomed appearance.

"I'm okay. You?"

"Good. Alhamdulillah."

A silence followed.

"How is work?"

"Alhamdulillah, it's okay."

"Good."

Another silence.

"How's Manahil?"

"Minnie's okay."

These silences were growing louder.

"Have you spoken to your father?"

"About a month ago."

"Oh. I spoke to him yesterday. I told him you were coming over for the week and he said he might be able to come this weekend."

"Oh. That's er... good news." It was anything but good news. Handling his whole family at the same time for a whole weekend felt like too much for Sami.

How messed up with this situation? He was growing anxious thinking about spending one weekend with both of his parents and sister. Moments like these made Sami realise the crazy problem he was in. Family wasn't meant to make someone feel so nervous. The world made people nervous and family was supposed to be a source of comfort. Yet, Sami felt the opposite. The world was something he could deal with but family? Not so much.

"He's looking forward to seeing you," Sami's mother said and he just nodded, lost as what to say. "Shall I warm up some food for you?"

"Have you eaten?" Sami asked and his mother frowned before shaking her head. "Then we'll eat together." She looked shocked before nodding.