Among the Stars [Frerard]

Chapter 8: Dead Inside and Out

Staying positive is hard.

Insanely hard.

Especially when your mind is laced with pessimistic thoughts. Maybe someday it would get better, there was always a possibility of that, but somehow Frank didn't see that happening.

He couldn't imagine his future. He couldn't imagine himself ever surpassing the age of 18, all he saw in his future was a black abyss. Living was and never would be worth it.

Especially living with this poisoned mind of his.

As long as Frank could remember he had seen human existence as completely and utterly stupid. Whilst every other species can live freely, humans chose to confine themselves and ruin their simple and beautiful way of life. We created a depressing cycle for ourselves. Go to school, get some shitty ass job that you won't enjoy, have children - that you are sending into the same cycle and then eventually die in some depressing retirement home.

How could anyone call that a life worth living?

But as much as Frank loved to occupy himself with these thoughts they had no point and lead to no resolution what so ever. Nothing would change.

Humanity has dug itself into a hole that it wouldn't ever escape. In the long run it didn't matter to Frank how he perceived the world, he would die anyway and anything experienced in between being brought into the world and then finally exiting it, was pointless. Because right now he was sitting outside with Pete, Ray, Mikey, Gerard and the new kid that recently moved here - Bob, in front of a small campfire joking around like idiots.

Frank probably hadn't spoken in the last 20 minutes, but he couldn't care less (well that was a lie, he was in fact very anxious), they had just become accustomed to his random silences and no longer questioned him. He preferred to just observe conversations rather than be a part of them. You could learn so much about someone simply from watching them converse with someone else. And removing himself from the conversation and simply observing taught Frank so many things about his friends that he otherwise may have never known.

For example he had learnt that Mikey and Pete kept sharing small glances, which he presumed where not on purpose seeing as every time their eyes met, Mikey's checks turned a slight pink.

He had also noticed that the new kid, Bob, fidgeted a lot. He had gone through a whole pack of smokes already and they had only been outside for an hour or two.

Bob was kind of weird, he joined our school in the middle of this semester and no one knew where he had come from or why he had come here. Bob just suddenly changed schools. Whenever someone would ask him about it, he would change the topic immediately or pretend he hadn't even heard it. Something was off and Frank was interested in finding out more about the new ginger-haired student.

Right now the guys were talking about a girl at their school called Jamia, whom they had only recently acknowledged.

"She's totally hot tho!" Bob exclaimed.

"I don't know she seems kind of off," Pete added looking at Mikey for his input.

Mikey just shrugged, "I mean I guess she's pretty."

Pete stared at Mikey. Mikey stared at Pete. No one else seemed to notice, besides of course, Frank. Bob, Ray and Gerard had now started talking about their new maths teacher and how he was a total dick to Ray about his hair. Which was absolutely outrageous. Rays hair is majestical.

Mikey and Pete were silently communicating something which Frank couldn't decipher. Pete
knew something Frank didn't and it was terribly obvious. Pete smirked at Mikey and joined the conversation again.