Among the Stars [Frerard]

Chapter 29: Midnight Blue

Frank walked along the deserted streets, the cool air of the night whipping around him. He felt numb. Not that this was a new feeling for him, quite on the contrary, he had grown accustomed to it. In a sick way, he had found comfort in it.

He hated this. He hated feeling this way. Helpless and depressed and numb and just confused. It was killing him. Slowly. Painfully. It was torture. Sometimes he even had hope, hope that he could and wold be happy someday. And that was the worst. Because depressing would always hit him in the face again, reminding him of how utterly fucked he and his life were. 

He was sick though and it may not have been his fault but he couldn't help but feel responsible. It was his brain messing him up. Deceiving him. And that only made him feel worse.

It didn't really matter though. None of it did. Not anymore. 

He just needed his head to shut up because he couldn't stand the static anymore. He had lived with it for far too long and now, Frank Iero was doing the most selfish thing he had done since attempting suicide. He was attempting it again, only this time he would be successful. Frank was certain of that. He wouldn't wake up in a hospital bed this time around. He wouldn't wake up at all.

Frank felt terrible. Obviously. But not only because of his depressing thoughts and suicidal tendencies. 

He felt bad for giving up. Tonight, he was giving up and it was terribly selfish. Frank would be pushing the pain he felt and had felt for such a long time on to the people that still cared about him. He was leaving them behind and crushing them in the process.

The thing was though, that Frank wasn't as strong as them. Frank knew that Gerard was going to live on without him. He knew his parents would stick together. They would be able to bear the weight on their shoulders - the same weight that was ultimately destroying Frank tonight. 

-

Sat on the edge of one of the tallest buildings in the city whilst everyone else was asleep, Frank felt the calmest he had in years. He had a pen and a piece of paper clutched in his hands. He didn't know what to write, or how to write it. But he still had a lot to say for himself, a lot of things to explain and a hell of a lot of apologies to write. 

The stars were bright tonight and Frank once again found himself to be drifting. It felt right. That tonight would be the night he took his life from himself. This would be the end to his over-dramatic life story. And he was okay with it. 

The sky was starting to turn lighter shades of blue, barely distinguishable from the black that loomed over the city. It was now or never.

Frank sat up, clutching the folded up paper inside his jacket pocket and edging forward to the long drop that awaited him. He peered over the edge, no longer feeling afraid. The city was still asleep. The roads were mostly deserted and the street lamps occasionally flickered, lighting the way for the minuscule amount of pedestrians at this time. His feet shuffled to the very end and he sharply inhaled.

This was it.

He leapt forward, leaving his body to helplessly struggle against gravity. His hand was still clutching the note and he felt tears prick his eyes as he came closer and closer to the ground. Everything was slowed down and so incredibly fast at the same time. A billion thoughts crossed his mind in the same second, leaving him to feel overwhelmed again. He loved Gerard and he loved his family more than anything. But he wasn't sure how much that meant anymore. He had never really loved or liked much in his short time. It meant something though, to be the only thing that someone had ever loved and truly cared for. He was so sorry, so incredibly sorry - but this was right. In his heart he knew it was supposed to be this way. He had known since he was fourteen and had never doubted it since. 

The tarmac grew ever closer and he feared the pain it would bring. But in the end he never really felt it. The pain was too much to take in and he was dead the second he collided with the ground. 

Frank regretted not writing a longer note.

Frank regretted taking his parents for granted. 

Frank regretted leaving everyone behind.

Frank regretted the first time he ever took a blade to his skin.

He regretted a lot of things, most things actually.

But he didn't regret taking his own life.

A/N: okay. ok. 

This shit is finally over and like what do I do with my life now

Should I write an epilogue from Gerards perspective?