What are you hiding? (Up for adoption)

Part 3

Mark

It was the middle of choir when the teachers phone rang.
"Mark, you are needed at the front office."
I looked down and walked out the door.
I walked down to the office and one of the woman smiled at me.
"Doctor Platz is here to see you."
I sighed. I have been seeing Doctor Platz once a week for the past three years because They won't take me to see a real therapist and get some real help.
I remember the day I asked them about seeing someone... They yelled at me about how I needed to act normal and only mentally ill children need them. So I got stuck with this quack who doesn't know how to do her job.
"Have a seat Mark."
I took my seat and stared at my hands.
"How are you feeling Mark?" She asked.
"I feel dead. I don't know why you make me do this."
"Because Mark, I am trying to help you."
"If you wanted to help you wouldn't force me to do this!" I said louder.
She sighed. "I want you to recover mark and to do that-"
"Recover!?!" I cut her off "What don't you get? My parents are dead and He took them! They were all I had left... If you wanted me to recover you would let me see them!"
"You know we can't do that Mark..."
I sighed. "May I please leave now? I can't do this today...."
"Fine, but Mark... I got a letter and was told to give it to you."
She handed me a medium sized envelope and it had my name on it.
I stared at it and thanked her before walking out.
I sat in the common space outside the choir room and carefully opened the envelope.
It had pretty handwriting on it.

"Dear Mark,

I know it has been a while but they refuse to let me see you or even talk to you... I just want you to know that I love you... No matter what. I know things are hard for you right now, I know that you are still blaming yourself... I know, that Jim and Carren say and do horrible things to you... And I know that you get angry at yourself and you're frustrated and you feel like you are worthless and you tell yourself that because that you think its true... But I promise you you aren't worthless. Don't forget you can always ask for help... I wish that I could take your place. You deserve to be happy Mark... And I hate myself for not being able to protect you. I know, that you are scared of telling people because you don't want to be alone again but sometimes they will hurt you all because they are trying to love you but don't know how. I wish I could be there for you... Take you away from them and bring you home... I just want you to know that I still love you. And I have come to turns with the fact they may never understand the amount of pain they have made you feel... And I wish that you would realize that you deserve to love yourself too... But there is little I can do... I know that it is hard but it will get better... I promise because in the end... All you need to do is love yourself and be kind to yourself even when they aren't. I love you. And I hope one day you can love you too. I know you will do great things.

-Amanda"

I was crying so hard I couldn't breath.
Amanda is my older sister. She is only older by less than a year. But I haven't seen her in 3 years. Her or my younger sisters ... They won't let me because I'm "Not normal".
I was shaking and focusing on my breathing but it was getting worse. I swear I could hear someone saying my name but I couldn't focus on it.

Sorry for such a shitty update... Things have been getting really bad lately. Anyways... I think I know (vaguely) where I want to go with this. I love you guys. Have a good day :)