Who dares disturb Magnus Bane, high warlock of Brooklyn?!

I love you Alexander

Alec's POV

I've really done it this time haven't I. First Jace now... Magnus...

What was I thinking?! He came here to see me. He came here because he loves me. And I love him. And what did I say to him? I was ashamed of what I felt for him! I could not be any stupider-my poor Magnus. I just broke his heart...

But I was only telling the truth.

That's what hurts the most. I was only telling him the truth. It's been eating at me these last few weeks. Magnus wants to go forward with us but I don't know if I can. I don't know if I want to.

No no no I want to. I just can't.

I don't realize I'm crying until I feel a tear fall on my bare feet. I tentatively wipe my hand across my cheek but before I know I'm breaking down sobbing.

My knees hit the ground and my hands clutched the carpet in fists. What have I done? Why could I be more confident?! Why can't I just pretend not to care what others think?!

I want Magnus back. I want him to hold me and tell me he forgives me because although I fight demons for a living I'm terrified right now. I think I've just ruined everything. I think I've just lost Magnus.

I want Magnus.

I have to get him back.

Magnus's POV

"I'm telling you Cat he's not worth it" I say as I pace around my loft angrily. "He-he's the complete opposite of me!! He won't even come out to his parents for me, maybe I'm asking too much"

"Maybe it's good that he's different. You've always dated confident people but... I mean I've never seen you this happy before. I'm not right this second but this past year? You two were inseparable! All you would do was talk about him and you were almost... Dare I saw bearable"

I fake gasp and put a hand on my chest. "How dare you? I am not in the least"

"Of course you aren't Magnus that's why I said almost." She rolls her eyes and leans back. "All I'm saying is that you were happier with him. You're... Nice you're not crazy you're a better Magnus with him. Give him a chance, not for him but for you"

I scoff and turn away before sitting next to her with a sigh. "I don't know Cat... It really hurt..." I hate getting all serious but it did. As I ran back through New York I sobbed the entire way because this whole year had been wasted on this... Boy. I told myself I would never get too attached. That just die anyways.

"Magnus I know it hurts it usually does when someone says their completely ashamed of what they feel for you" Car says soothingly, and although she's trying to help it just opened up the wound again.

"Gee thanks Cat I didn't know"

"Magnu-"

There was a knock at the door.

I sigh and roll my eyes as I stretch to stand up but the door swings open.

It's Alec.

Alec's POV

"I-i used a rune.... Your buzzer was broken...." I stammer out looking at Magnus hurt and confused expression. It just makes this so much more important because I never want to see that sadness in his face ever again.

"What are you doing here?" he said acridly. "I thought you were afraid shadowhunter"

Ok I deserve that. I look at my feet and pull out the flowers u had behind my back offering them to him. It was greatest attempts at a peace offering. They were half smushed and dying but... I hoped maybe....

I remember our second date.

I was comfortable with him now, we had snuck out a few times before kissed a little but it was my turn to plan the date.

I had everything perfect, just going to the park, but we had to time it right, or we wouldn't see the sun set over the bridge. That's what I wanted him to see.

But of course...

"Get out of my house Alexander" he growled jarring me from my memories. "Wilting flowers won't help you."

"Magnus please" I breathed, the wind got knocked out of me. I'm free falling. And Magnus isn't going to catch me.

Magnus's POV

This is oddly familiar. Him coming here with wilting flowers.

I remember...

He came in, it was raining. He looked close to tears.

"Alexander-"

"I'm sorry I'm late I'm so sorry I-i wanted us to go to the park... I got you.."

Wilting flowers.

It was the best gift is ever received.

"Get out." I repeat stepping closer to him. Cat grabbed my arm. I yank free. "GET. OUT"

He flinched and I've never seen him look so scared. My poor Alex-

"GET OUT ALEXANDER GET OUT!!!"

He drops the flowers.

He turns and runs.

He left.

I'm alone.

Cat shakes her head as she stands. "Mag-"

"Leave..... Please...." If only I had been that gentle to Alec... If only....

I pick up the flowers and look at them. I'm empty. The flowers are dying with me.

I made a mistake. I can't undo this one.

"Please Cat just go... I need to be alone" I whispered closing my eyes and holding the flowers close.

"Please... Alec..."

"Oh Alexander" I laugh at his drenching figure. He looks heart broken. But I couldn't have been more happy.

"I'm sorry this is going all wrong..."

"I beg to differ. Come on let me get you something warm and get you a change of clothes." I said taking the flowers from him and looking into his beautiful stormy blue eyes. I love his blue eyes.

I love him. That was the first time I admitted it to my self. It was the first time he said-

"Magnus I love you"

I smile.

He smiles.

He's dripping wet.

I kiss him anyways.

"I love you too Alexander...."

"I love you... Alexander I love you..."