Blurred Souls (Editing)

Chapter 22

Her words echo in my thoughts. Our home? This place was anything but home. Home is a name, a word, it is a strong one; stronger than magician ever spoke, or spirit ever answered to, in the strongest conjuration. Home, the spot of earth supremely blest.
A dearer, sweeter spot than all the rest. This place was like prison.

There are some moments in your life when you just stand there, trying to recall what just happened, as if you had just waken up. Perhaps it was just me.

As I recalled what just happened, realisation hit me. Melissa and that stupid old rat are now engaged.
My eyes widen a little, it was obvious I was trying to hide my anger, but even though I was doing a pretty job at hiding it in my voice, it still flares in my eyes.

"You're now engaged," I asked, knowing the answer perfectly well, but my mind didn't seem to register what was happening.

The smirk on her face only confirmed my question.

"Oh yes, dear." Melissa sneered as she spoke, a smile curled her lips evilly.

I knew they'd get married eventually, but I was hoping he'd change his mind. I was slightly disappointed, yes, I thought he'd still have a soft spot for mum, but who am I kidding? He's as cold as the stone he carves. He's a heartless rat.

"Congrats," I said, my voice coming out rough. Hell, I was screaming inside my head like it was going out of style.

We both step in our house, the sound of our footsteps echoing through the house.

"Hey Mel." The nickname made me cringe, but I pushed my emotions down into the tiny hole in the pit of my belly.

"Hi baby, look who just arrived."

David's eyes flickered toward me, his face clouded angrily. His lips opened in a mirthful, raucous laugh. "The bitch finally arrived."

Melissa stared at him, confused. It took a couple of seconds for her to realise what was happening, after that it finally clicked. "Where are your manners, David?"

"They were buried along her dead mum." His words cut through me like a knife. I couldn't let him know his words hurt so much. They truly did.

"Look here old man, you can call me ugly, stupid, idiot or even worse insults, but never ever mention my mum in any sentence. Never. You hear me?"

"Ooooh, I bet your dead mum is so proud of you. You're stupid, yes, you're ugly, you're worthless, you're f---"

"David! Stop!"

His eyes turned angry at that point, " we're now engaged, Mel. I'm the man here. And I'm talking to my daughter."

Melissa shook her head, "You treat your daughter like shit! And you call her worthless? How brave of you. I'm very disappointed in you, very."

His laughter filled the place, "Mel, a couple of hours ago you were talking shit about her, should I remind you?"

I'm loved by everyone, how amazing.

"David! Stop!" Her eyes flickered toward mine, "Angel, take the money in the cupboard and go wherever you want. I need to sort things out with your dad."

I nodded. I hadn't been for half an hour and I already need an escape. an escape from everything.

"You're worthless, get over it, kill yourself."
♤♢

My hand rested inside my jacket, on the butt of my jeans, as I crossed the street and stepped into the bar.

The music didn't seem as loud as it should have been.

Is this really wise? Is this a good thing? My mind insisted on asking me again as I walked. But I refused to stop and consider. I put the thoughts aside
again and again as you would a bothersome cat, gently but firmly.

My heart thundered in my chest as I reached the bar. I called the bartender, requested a cheap beer I saw a moment ago.

Out of all emotions in the world, I thought I had felt them. I knew what is was like to be in pain, to feel something sting me so hard mentally it felt like a welt and a scar so hard inside myself that it worked its way to the surface.

I knew what it was like to feel numb to that pain, drowning it out with beer can after beer can. I knew what it was like to feel angry, so angry my fists were going to fall of from clenching them so hard. So angry it felt like my blood vessels were going to burst under my callused skin. I knew what it was like to want to rip off my own skin, just to escape the wrath and feelings I had within me. I knew how that felt.

I had felt a lot of emotions in my lifetime and it hadn't even been that long yet. The small pitiful exsitence that I had lived was slowly ending in that moment. David's words not registering in my mind. They were hitting my ear dum, making their way into my mind. I heard them, but they were just words. They were not actions, promises, or a hopeless future. They were not leaving a scar on my brain because I wouldn't let them cut me.

"The usual," a boy-ish voice ordered, I can recognise this voice everywhere, regardless of whether he whispers or shouts.

I looked briefly at him, exhale of slow breathe, my lips twitching.

"Alex?" My voice came out as a whisper but he seemed to hear it. His eyes widen slightly, but a frown settled upon his face.

"Angel?"

I didn't know what happened at that moment, perhaps it was the alcohol that was now in my system, or the loneliness that was now my own shadow. I wrapped my arms around him, burying my head into his shoulder. My heart pounded, and another sob escaped my lips as I grovelled in my misery and try as I may, I couldn't stop the flow of tears that began to stream from my eyes. Tears rolled down my cheeks and fell from my chin onto my lifeless face.

Alex, on the other hand, was shocked by my sudden behaviour.

"I'm not worthless, right?" I whispered.

Alex rubbed my back, "no, you are more than worth it."

And that's what I needed, I needed someone to remind me I'm worth it, that somewhere in this world I'd be needed.

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