ARRANGED TO LOVE

Chp 21: canvas

Addys pov:
Memories, they are the reason why we laugh remembering the day we cried and cry remembering the day we laughed. I knew what Aisha must be thinking, she Must be thinking that I am looking at Fionas photos in my phone but little does she know that I have my eyes only for one woman, only for her.
I was looking at the photo of her during our engagement ceremony and she looked beautiful. And when we fight like small kids I always fall more and more for her. I don't want a real fight with her,never, just this small random stupid arguments in which we both know we don't mean it and we are just teasing each other. I don't think I have ever met someone beautiful like her or maybe it's just my mind playing tricks because as someone said when you love someone their imperfections also looks perfect. I cannot describe how much my life has changed since I met her, it's been one month and it feels like weeks since we met and I am no longer the person who came here. I used to smoke cigarettes and cigar but now I smoke untold words for her, first I was an alcohol addict and now I am addicted to her laugh.

I thought she will follow me after I took her cappuccino with me but I guess I scared her too much. When I had bend forward suddenly I saw feeling of fear lingering in those brown eyes of hers, just like I had seen it when we first met and I had felt a pinch in my heart, I would never force Aisha for anything which she doesn't want even it means I have to sacrifice what I want. I guess that's love,right? When all you care about is their happiness.
I went towards study room to see why Aisha didn't follow me just to find her asleep on the chair in uncomfortable position.
I sighted
She will definitely get a neck ache if she sleeps like this way.

I went towards her to wake her up but she was fast asleep. I didn't wanted to disturb her but I didn't even wanted her to sleep here on the chair.
I bend forward and lifted her in my arms but she still didn't woke up nor stirred in her sleep.
If she sleeps like this way every time god forbid but it's soo easy for anyone to kidnap her.
I took her towards my bedroom and tucked her on my bed careful enough not to make any noise to wake her up. She looked so carefree and beautiful like always. I kissed her head before getting up and exiting the room. I wish the next girl who I tucked like this in to the bed will be our daughter. As I was going towards my study room I passed through a room which I didn't use for quite a big time.
'Canvas room'.I opened the door And entered the room and smiled remembering the memories I had in this room. I remember painting when I was a teenager and loved it. I remember putting all my emotions in colors and making things out of it but once I got addicted to these habits of smoking and drinking I stopped doing it. I basically stopped living my life from the time.....I met Fiona. And my eyes widened with shock. I remember she was the one who put me into this bad habit of drinking and smoking daily. I still remember her saying that this is the way by which I can forget all my sorrows and pain of my broken family and I believed it, I believed her but now I realized how wrong she was and how wrong I was to believe her. We had started as just friends and then we were couples. The more I got to know her the more I got away from the real me, from the artist me because she thought it was too old fashioned and I wanted to impress her. I still remember my nanny Grace who is more like my mother saying to the 7 years old me who was angry because he didn't had real friends to play with nor a father who had time for his son.

" paint your emotions Addy this is the best way to deal with them, take any color you like and just paint your sadness,your happiness,your fear because some emotions don't go away until you express them Addy"

And I did exactly as she told. I had thrown all the colors on canvas and used my hands to spread it, though the outcome of it was nothing but I felt better after doing so, after that I painted many pictures and even painted a picture of Grace and gifted it to her. I still remember her expression when she saw it, she had tears in her eyes, tears of happiness.
" oh my goodness ,it's beautiful sir no one ever gifted me such a thing. You are a great artist sir." Grace had said.

" Thanks Grace." I had said

"For what sir."

" for introducing me to colors."

I removed my blazer and kept it on the chair and folded my sleeves upward.
I touched the canvas it was rough under my touch. Nothing Changed since I came here. And so I decided to do what Grace had told me. I decided to paint my emotions ,I decided to paint my thoughts,I decided to paint AISHA.
I closed my eyes and all our memories came crashing down on me.

Her brown eyes which showed happiness when I saved her from the car in the forest. Her hair flying while we were riding my bike. Her nose when she gets angry every time I tease her. Her little tan skin while she sleeps peacefully beside me. Her pink cheeks when she blushes at my words. Her lips with a brightest smile when she had entered the aisle for our engagement ritual.
Her eyelashes which flutter every time she doesn't believe something.

And when I finally finished it She looked like an angel who just came Down from sky and I fell more in love with her. She looked perfect with no tears in her eyes, no red nose due to crying and no quivering lips. Now I knew for sure what I wanted and I was going to achieve it.