The Perfect Life... Or So I Thought {N.H.}

Chapter 25

Chapter 25

~ Louis ~

So today is October 18.

Nina's birthday was yesterday and I just couldn't handle it.

I looked at my wrists and I regret what I did.

Nina would have wanted to be strong.

I failed and I can tell she hates me.

I hate myself for not knowing what was wrong.

I'm her big brother, I'm supposed to know everything that's happening in her life.

I bet mum is disappointed in me.

I don't blame her.

This is all my fault and there's nothing I can do to change it.

I didn't even get to say goodbye to her.

Do you know how hard that is, having your sister die and not say goodbye to them?

It hurts.

It feels as if I've been stabbed 1,000 times and I'm still living but the pain is incredible.

I just feel like I should die.

Not her.

Nina was too young.

She never even got to get married and have kids.

She's never going to be able to do anything anymore.

And it's all my fault.

Right now I'm in my room planning out the funeral.

It hurts to say the word so much.

I know that Nina wouldn't want anyone to be sad there, so I noted that.

You know, I can't do this.

It's too hard to deal with this and everything is now falling apart.

I just can't do this right now.

I leaned back and cried.

Just cried my eyes out.

I can't do this anymore.

But I know Nina wanted me to be strong wherever I was, no matter what had happened.

It's the only thing that could make Nina a bit happy.

I stopped crying and wiped my cheeks, free of tears.

"I miss you Nina. I miss you. I'm so sorry."

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Wow that was insanely short. Sorry about that. School is just starting and I'm off to a rough start. So I'm sorry for any mistakes. It's getting hard being as I have little time to write but I am going to stick to my plan of updating once a week with some possible bonus chapters in between.

Although, the next update might be tonight. So look out for it.

Thanks guys for everything.

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Thank you!