How to Sleep Together ✓

00| Nothing Lasts Forever

D A I S Y 

"Meet me before footy practice, at one near the biology classrooms.- C.W."

The hallway was dark. Mr Darcy had probably left. I took off my jacket and my bra which was stashed in my bag. If anyone that wasn't him were to arrive, I'd just put on my jacket. Yet, I felt slight unease. It wasn't like our usual sort of messages. Perhaps, I was being paranoid.

I paced the hallway waiting, glancing at my watch every few minutes. He arrived five minutes late, hair dry and combed back. I knew something was wrong by the way he looked. It was slightly pained and very uncomfortable, like he'd rather not be here. "Is everything okay?" I asked.

Wilde didn't smile. He glanced around, then he turned back to me, eyes landing on my chest just briefly before looking back at my face. He swallowed. "Daisy, I-" he tucked his fingers into his pants, keeping a big distance between us. "-I don't think this is going to work."

I blinked, then I let a smile fit my lips, "Okay, it's cool we can still be friends."

Wilde flushed.

I glanced at the ground. I'd had enough endings to know what that meant. 

"I- I don't think that's best." 

I swallowed, my heartbeat felt loud and painful. "Right." It came off as a whisper. "So you got together with Cecile?"

He didn't respond. Then, I glanced back at Wilde wondering why of all the times his face has been an open book to me, it felt like like a stranger. I'd seen Wilde in his many faces. The unattainable flirt in parties, always single. I'd seen him in church, praying with his parents, always a few pews in front of me. I'd heard of him reject sex from other girls in school. I'd seen him at his worst after his final break-up with Cecile. I'd grown up with him. 

There was no one in the world who knew me as well as Wilde. He knew me mentally, emotionally, physically...

Which was why, I knew that one day, if the day ever came that he fell for a girl. He would leave me. We were too wrapped up in each other. No one else would know how nervous he was when we slept together for the first time. No one will know his internal turmoil when he slept with someone before marriage or his fears for not living up to his parents expectations. 

Even now, everyone in school thought he was a virgin, not because he was deemed unattractive by girls but because he wanted to. Because he thought marriage was sacred and beautiful. It became a challenge for girls to try their luck with him and every time he rejected them it seemed to make them long for him more.

He never rejected me.  

Which was why we fell here, definitely not together but in a friends with benefits sort of relationship. He was my closely guarded secret, my secret dream. 

They say birds of a feather flocked together.

But Wilde and I? We weren't birds of a feather, we were so different. He viewed sex as something sacred and for me? it was meaningless. Most of the time, because with Wilde, it was always more than sex. It was something so beautiful, that I could almost believe him.

"You can tell me you know, it's not like I'd push her down the top of a pyramid," I joked.

Wilde didn't smile, his eyes met mine then he glanced away. "I'm going to be late for footy."

It was a lie. We both knew it. I felt a stab in my chest. After all the time we spent together, our late nights and our memories and he couldn't even tell me if it was for her? I'd find out eventually, we both knew, so why couldn't he tell me?

I turned around, "Well, go." I pulled the jacket up my arms, roughly grabbing my bag and even though we'd be walking back in the same direction, I walked ahead, ignoring him, or the patter of his feet or the breeze I felt when he ran past me heading far away. 

When I knew I was far away and the odds of anyone seeing me or hearing me were slim, I sat down and cried.