Waiting To Exhale

Twenty-five

   "I'll give you some privacy." The nurse leaves. Gabriel steps in and closes the door behind him. His eyes are red and puffy like he's been crying. I bet he has a major hangover right now. He wouldn't put down the bottle to save his life. Such a shame. I really do hate the hand I've been dealt with.

   "I got the call last night. I had to sober up before coming here." A tear falls from his eye. This takes me by surprise. I've never seen him cry before. Not even while he was drunk. He pinches the bridge of his nose. "I can't believe I was too drunk to come to visit my own daughter in the freakin hospital. I'm so sorry Olivia."

   Sorry?

   He's never been sorry. At least not when it comes to me. I must be hearing this wrong. Maybe I hit my head harder than everyone thinks. My mouth hangs open. I'm too shocked to say anything, not that I would even know what to say. He stumbles in and sits in the chair next to my bed. He looks so out of place worrying about me. It's so unlike him. "Liv I know I haven't been there but I'm here now-"

   He stops mid-sentence due to Mason stepping out of the bathroom. He changed into a pair of fun shorts and a white wifebeater. Even in his casual outfit, he looks sexy. He takes one look at Gabriel and his face frowns up. "That's Mason, my boyfriend. Mason this is Gabriel."

   "I'm her father." He adds.

   I roll my eyes. "You've never been a father to me."

   "That's why I'm here. I want to make things right. I'm meeting with someone tomorrow. They're going to help me stop drinking. I'm doing this for you. I can't be like this. I don't want to. It's not good for anyone," He says.

   "Why did it take you so long to realize that?" He shakes his head and tells me he had no idea. Yeah, I bet. He's just looking for me to make excuses for him. I tried. I really did. I wanted us to be a family so badly. I wanted him to love me the way a father should love his daughter but all he cares about is where he's going to get the money for his next bottle. I want to believe what he's saying is true, that he really wants to change for me, but I've fallen in this trap more times than I'd like to admit.

   I roll my eyes, an act I would never do had circumstances been different. "You have spit this lie to my face more times than one. I don't believe you." I fight back the tears with everything in me. I promised myself I was done crying over him. He put me through do much and the worse part is he doesn't even care. I do. Or at least I did. I thought he could actually change. That's what I get for changing.

   He turns to Mason, "Can you give us a minute?"

   Mason looks to me for confirmation. I nod my head. He gives me a kiss on the cheek then leaves.

   "I know you don't believe me. I figure it would be best to show you instead. You will see it when I get better. I have a meeting Friday, with some lady. She's going to help me. I'm doing this for you."

   "I'll believe it when I see it."

   "You're right. You will see," Gabriel says.

   An awkward silence falls between us. We haven't been able to be in the same room without it ending in me getting slapped or having to give me a mental slap. It doesn't mean anything, though. At the end of the day, he's going to go back to that bottle and all will be well for him. I don't know why he thinks it's going to be so easy for him to put the bottle down.

   A light knock sounds at my door. Its Joe and Anthony. My face lights up when I see them. Melinda trails behind with the baby. Ethan is so tiny. I can't believe I finally get to see him. Gabriel stands up to greet them, awkwardly I might add. It's quite obvious he doesn't have good people skills. Liquor will do that to you.

   Joe is happy to see Gabriel. Its been a while since the two men have seen each other. He gives Gabriel a big bear hug. I'm sure he can smell the liquor on his breath. Melinda gives him a hug as well. Anthony gives a simple nod. The last time they saw each other Gabriel wasn't all too pleased about it. I'm sure he still isn't but is just trying to put on a little show. He likes putting on shows. I hate being forced to watch them.

   Melinda lets me hold Ethan after making me bathe in hand sanitizer. I suppose all mothers act like that with their newborns. She's so overprotective of him. I know he's going to have the best life. He already has the best parents anyone could hope for. She even lets Anthony hold the baby. I expect him to freak out but he surprisingly knows what he's doing. So clearly he's used to handling babies.

   The doctors and nurse come in to check on me periodically. They say I can go home first thing tomorrow. I can't wait. I hate the way hospitals smell, all metallic, and like old people. No offense to old people. I'm going to have to catch up on my school work.

   I still didn't get the chance to ask Mason about what Bianca told me at the party. I still need to know.