Hand In Glove

Chapter 40

The next morning, Chloe woke up early. Having slept so well, she felt restless. Not wanting to wake Ashton, who was still fast asleep, she quietly and carefully slipped out of bed. Taking a change of clothes with her to the bathroom, she took a quick shower, hoping not to disturb anyone. She got dressed and tiptoed out to the kitchen.

Taking a quick look around, she spotted Nick in his sleeping bag in front of the fireplace, and Chris on the couch. Jamie had his own room in the back. Not wanting to wake them, she quietly stepped out onto the front porch and sat on the swing, looking out into the lake.

The sun had not long risen and there was a fine mist on the lake. The unmistakable call of a loon broke through the silence of the dawn. Beautiful, she thought with a smile. Such peace and love, she felt. Best of all was the realization that the beauty and peace were not exclusive to this place. They existed within her heart. The knowledge that this love would be with her, whether here in this place or back home, or anywhere she might be, comforted her. It was the most wonderful feeling of total acceptance, of belonging. She contemplated how things had just come to be, how fate had led her to this place, to Ashton.

The sound of familiar voices from within the cottage stirred her from her thoughts. She smiled upon hearing the sound of Nick's cry of indignation as she imagined Chris accidentally, or more likely, purposely stepping on him. She heard him muttering something along the lines of watch it, jackass, fuck off and piss off and so on. Then, of course, she heard something being flung across the room. She laughed to herself, realizing how much a part of her life they had become. Even Jamie had his own special place in her heart, a very tiny place, but a place nonetheless.

"Jackass!" Nick grumbled as he flung the door open and stepped outside, still wrapped in his sleeping bag. A moment later he turned and saw Chloe sitting there waving at him. Instantly, the angry frown on his face turned into a huge smile.

"Hey, Chloe Belle." He happily sat beside her. "Watcha doing out here all alone? Did that mean old stick in the mud boss of yours kick you out of bed?" he asked, tucking her into his sleeping bag with him. "'You know, I'd never kick you out of bed, not for nothing." He hugged her close.

"No, he didn't..." she said laughingly, snuggling into his friendly embrace. "Nick, you're just so crazy."

"Crazy about you, that's all," he said, leaning his head on hers. "Even if this is all I ever get, these stolen moments, I'll take them."

"Nick?" Chloe interrupted, hearing the sincerity in his voice.

"No, let me speak while I have a chance, before he takes you from me for good. Look, I know where I stand. I can see it in your eyes and I can see it when he looks at you. But I need to say it. I need you to hear me say it." He paused, inhaling deeply. "Chloe, I... I love you," he said in one long breath. "To say it doesn't hurt to realize how close you two have become would be a lie. To say it doesn't hurt to see him touch you, to imagine you with him, would be a total lie. It does hurt. It hurts a lot," he whispered into her hair.

"Oh, Nick, I'm sorry," she said, holding his cheek against her. "I am so honored that you care for me that much. I only wish I could take your pain away, stop the hurt. I really hope that you'll find someone someday soon. Someone who will love you the way you deserve to be loved. Until then I will cherish these moments with you, but I won't ever betray either one of you or give you cause to distrust one another. I won't make you empty promises or lead you on. I like having you in my life. I like the way we get along. I especially love these big hugs of yours, your smile. But you should never be second choice. I won't accept you pining after me like this. As much as I selfishly enjoy the attention, you deserve more than that," she said, gently stroking his face.