Freedoms War

Chapter 13

Chapter 13

I was laying on a hammock, a desk to my side with a candle flickering. I was surprised Jax didn't straight out ask me to sleep in her bed. But it was nice, she respected my boundaries. I still didn't have an answer for her either. I didn't really even want to think about sex right now. I was staring at the first blank page of the journal Jordan gave me.

A quill sat in the ink bottle Jax had given me. She was a bit surprised when i asked her for the quil and ink. But she provided. Now here i was trying to think of what to write. How did you even start one of these... well i guess i should start with the beginning.

The first victim of mine, Jack Raven, A maleficar, veteran in the Empire's army and My father. Cause of death; knife stabs repetitively in the chest.

I let the quill drip ink as i tried to figure what else to say. What was there to say. I realized this wasn't the beginning. So i scratched out the line i wrote. Then proceeded to try again

My birth was one of the most questionable experiences to ever happen. My mother, a soulless creature, having a child with a maleficar. There was many complications in my birth, one was the fact i was born with no left shin or foot for that matter. The next complication was my soul. My mother couldn't provide me one so i was born without one.

That day my mother deemed me a 'crippled' child. Unworthy of life. So she gave me to my father, Jack Raven. He took me to the north, to get me far away from her. I was born with only two feelings. Annoyance and anger. But i felt no sadness, no happiness. That was till i killed my father.

He had called me a cripple. I decided i had enough of the old man. but what haunted me was what he said, while i stabbed him over and over again. 'Caught you demon' he said. I knew enough about soul magic to know what he meant by that. He casted a soul trap on himself. In killing him, his soul went to the closest vessel. Which was me. Then i felt. I felt sad. I was covered in his blood, i felt overwhelmed by all the feelings, the best way to describe it was a panic attack.

It took a full day before i was able to cope with all the feelings i had. I cried over my dead father, he gave his life to give me one. All that time when soulless i hatted him. Only with his soul did i realize what i had lost, what we had. He tried to connect with me, even when i was just a void. A void waiting for a demon to fill.

And a demon did take my body, a rage demon, it caused me to lash out at my father. It gave me the feeling of anger. Then when i had killed my father, the demon had not vanished. It just lost control. It was still here.... With me. Whispering and telling me who i should kill. Who i should hurt. It only controlled me when i felt intense anger. When that emotion overwhelmed me. It's how i hurt Lazarus. She was preaching to me about the gods, how they had a plan for everything. I was angry, what plan could possible have me killing my father?

How it happened. We were in the Temple of Phoenix, while she was preaching to me. She didn't mean to preach but it was what it sounded like. I hated preaching. Without knowing it i had pulled out my knife from my belt. I approached her. She still preached to me, choosing to ignore the fact i drew my knife. She didn't feel in danger, i made her feel safe. So what ever instinct that told her i was dangerous went out the window.

Then i stabbed her. No slashed, i slashed at her stomach, i cut her open. It was easy. Too easy. When she fell did i realize what i had done. I healed her. It was a simple thing to do, i just had to touch the wound and it closed. Yet it scared me. That i had done that. She should have died from that wound. I tried to kill her. She would have died if i had hesitated for a second longer.

She told me it was fine, told me it didn't matter. She told me she loved me, told me it didn't change anything. But it did, it changed everything. My rage had taken me, it would be too easy to say a demon made me do it. No, it was me, i let it take me. I let it drive that knife across her stomach.