Freedoms War

Chapter 14

I woke in a cold sweat. I jerked trying to pull my hands away from the knife. As reality hit me, i fell face first into the floor. I rolled onto my back and groaned rubbing my face. I didn't brake anything, that was the good news. But the nightmare replayed in my head over and over. I mercy killed Lazarus. Was it really the future? Maybe i could prevent it. But who would take her? The empire was on my side, i don't remember having powerful enemies...

I slammed my fist on the floor feeling the wood bend under my palms. I tried to calm my self. Remind myself i wasn't there, i was here, in the guest room of a pirate ship. That by itself was enough to give me doubts this was even reality. Maybe it was all just a dream? Why the hell was i helping the empire any ways? this must be some cruel joke.

I closed my eyes, listened to my heart beat trying to focus on just that and not what was real. My heart pumped as if i was fighting. I took a few deep breaths and that successfully slowed my heart down.

I then sat down on the floor leaning my back against the wall and looked at my hands. I had a splinter in my right palm. I rose my left hand and attempted to pick it out but my hands shook to much. After my fifth failed attempt i just used magic to pull the wood from my skin.

I sat back with a sigh. The room was completely black, my eyes had adjusted well to the darkness. The hammock rocked above me to the sway of the ship. The side table to my right, my journal still opened and laying there. I took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. I leaned my head back hitting it against the wood as i closed my eyes once more.

"She's still alive" i spoke to the empty room. I repeated over and over. She was still alive. I had to find her. Make sure what ever was going to happen to her doesn't. That would mean leaving Jordan and her crusade to save her empire. Was Lazarus worth more the the population of the empire. Ha, easy question. Yes. most empirals were dicks anyways. Except Jordan... and hex... maybe drag..

Shit. i couldn't just leave them. But lazarus... i still love her. Do i fight for freedom? Or do i fight for my lover? These were things i had to answer. I was helping Jordan for my freedom. Yet i could just abandon ship. It would be easy too... leave in the middle of the night. No one would notice... wait, Jax would. She would know by morning. That didn't give me enough time. Yet we weren't that far from port. I could swim back. Better yet just teleport.

I got up off the ground and walked to the door. By memory i navigated the wooden tunnel passage between the guest quarters to the captain's room. I knocked at the door. I waited. It felt like more than a minute passed and there was no response. I was about to knock again when the door knob turned quietly.

Jax stood in her signature boots and a long blue coat with a long white shirt underneath that played the role of a skirt as well. Her hair was neat and her eyes fully aware, she hadn't been sleeping. "You look like shit" she commented and i stiffened and shifted uncomfortably as i tried to think of a way i could ask this of her.

"I need to leave, i don't know if i'll be coming back" i said as my eyes stayed locked on hers. "What?" she asked completely confused. "Look, i just need you to tell Jordan i'll meet her at Erisen. There's something i have to take care of back in the empire" i told her putting my hand against the door frame as i leaned into it. "What in Oblivion do you have to take care of back there?" she asked. Now i broke eye contact looking at the floor instead. "It's... personal" i said looking back up to her eyes. They were watching me like a hawk. She seemed to stiffen a bit at my confession. She seemed torn between something. Finally after the brief silence and she shook her head.

"Fine, i'll cover for you but i expect something in return" she said a bit elusive. I wasn't sure what she could possible want but i tried not to think about that. "Thank you" i breathed and stepped back away from the doorway. "I'll see you in Erisen" i said as i turned on my heel to leave.