The Haunted Memories (Forgotten Series, #4)

Memory VIII

I had been with Malak for seven months. I had asked Arlo how long it had been and he hadn't given me an answer. He was evasive and his eyes begged me not to ask anymore. An Alpha's Order was not so easily broken. I had finally gotten around it by asking for the date. I could almost hear Arlo's words to my question.

Clever girl.

Seven months. I had spent over three months in the pits. The few bits of food Arlo had been able to smuggle me at the start had extended my ability to survive but when he had stopped coming, so had the food. Starvation had taken me deeper into the darkness of the pits. Malak had been very lucky when he had taken me out of the pit when he did. The doctor said my organs had started shutting down. That was why I had been still for so long, hovering in that grey haze between life and death.

I had spent almost three months in that haze where I had wished for death. Arlo had been the one to bring me back from that brink. He had realised that the moon would be the one thing that could cut through to me and bring me back. There was no way I could repay him for that and I knew he would deny anything I would offer him. Such a sweet man Arlo was.

I inhaled sharply as I bumped into the hard form I had been walking behind. Bad, maggie bird. Bad! I closed my eyes right as the back of Malak's hand cracked against my cheek and sent me staggering to the right. The pain was sharp and searing and I kept my head down as I righted myself. I wanted to touch my burning cheek but I fisted my hands in my skirt so I wouldn't.

Malak grabbed my chin in a bone aching grasp as he wrenched my face up. I avoided his gaze like I had been taught. "What have I told you?" Dark and oppressive. His words were almost a physical push against me as he squeezed my jaw harder. I wanted to whine at the pain.

"Watch my steps." It came out slightly garbled from how he pinched my jaw and he shoved me away. I let my head fall forward, my eyes on the ground.

Meek Maggie.

Don't look up. Do not address my superiors. Watch where I walked. Always be polite. Stay four steps behind him on the right. Stay three behind him on the left. So many contradictions that I had been taught. Malak giving me one rule but then making me break it with his next.

Confusion swamped me constantly. It was nearly paralyzing in its intensity. I never knew what he wanted me to do, what he wanted me to say, what he wanted me to feel. He never told me. Always waiting until I did wrong and then he would punish me. I couldn't stop it. It was always inevitable. Bruises coated my pale skin like badges Malak had pinned on me.

A hot hand grabbed my bicep in a bruising grip as I was yanked forward. My heart thumped unpleasantly in my chest as he let out a hiss of aggravation. "So useless." I lowered my head further, wishing I could hide behind my hair. Malak had ordered me to keep it back, his voice was low, dark and burning as he held a blade to my hair at the roots, threatening to cut it all off if I didn't listen.

I hadn't ever braided my own hair before. Sorrel had always done it for me. I had sat in the room for over an hour, terrified of leaving because he would cut it all off but unable to braid it back. Arlo had found me shaking in the corner and after he managed to coax the reason out of me he pulled out his phone and looked up how to braid hair. We had watched the videos together. He had softly explained it to me and gently coaxed me in the motions as I tentatively braided my hair for the first time.

It had been strange and my heart had hurt and ached for my sister but Arlo was with me on every motion. When I had finally finished and tied it off he gave me a warm smile and gently squeezed my elbows as he told me how proud he was of me.

Arlo was my soft, gentle, and relieving breeze after the terrifying plough winds of Malak. He soothed everything over, made me feel better. Made me believe that perhaps there was some hope for me to be okay in the end. It was false hope, detrimental hope, foolish hope. I knew there was no happily ever after for me. Those lost to the darkness could never return and hoping that Malak would beat the odds was a waste of time and energy because he never would.