Chapter 8

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1 month later

I sit in the bathroom, sobbing. My period is late. I'm paranoid. Ashley and I have fucked a total of three times. I pull a pregnancy test out of the box next to me. I take it, and wait the three minutes. Two lines appear. Pregnant. I scream, and Andy comes rushing to the door. He smacks his fists into it.

"Are you okay? You've been in there for ten minutes? What's going on?" he asks worriedly. I walk to the door and open it. I hand him the pregnancy test and he looks at it for a moment. I begin to cry again and he pulls me into his arms. 

"I'm so sorry, Alex. How are you gonna tell Ashley?" 

I shake my head and run out of the bathroom to get my phone. I dial Ashley's number and put the phone up to my tear-stained face. 

"Hey baby, what's up?" he answers on the second ring. 

"Babe," I say, choking on tears. "Come over."

"I'm on my way," he says, and he hangs up the phone. 

Five minutes later, Ashley comes into my bedroom, where I'm clutching a pillow, and my hot tears are beginning to hurt my face. 

"Baby, what happened?" he asks, very concerned. I wipe my eyes and take a deep breath. I put my hands on my stomach.

"There's a baby in there," I say quietly.

"Oh my god," Ashley's hand flies to cover his mouth. "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. What are we gonna do?" 

"I don't know. Are we gonna keep it?" I ask.

"Are we ready for a baby?"

"I guess we have 8 more months to get ready if we do want to keep it. I definitely don't believe in abortions. So it's either keep it or adoption."

"I don't want to give it up for adoption. You can never be sure of what will happen to it then."

"That's true," I say. "So I guess we're keeping it."

"Yea," Ashley says quietly. 

I take his hand. "You'll be a good dad. I just know it."

"But what about all the touring? I don't want to miss it growing up," he points out.

"Ashley, we'll be okay. It's gonna be fine. Okay?" I assure him. 

We walk out of my bedroom and Andy is still standing in front of the bathroom, shocked. 

"Andy," I shake him. "What are we gonna do about tour?"

"You can stay. You have a lot of work to do."

"I wish I could stay too, baby," Ashley says.

"You're part of the band. You have to go," I say.

"What if I miss the birth? It's gonna be almost a year-long tour around the world."

"You can try to shorten the dates. Postpone some of them until the baby is born. Say you have a family emergency. Or get someone to temporarily cover for you."

"Good idea. I'll see if one of my friends can cover for the Australian part. A few of them have always said they wanted to play there. That way I'll be back in 7 months, and you'll have just enough time to get settled in and have the baby."

"I'm going to the doctor soon to find out the due date and to hear the heartbeat. Are you coming?" I ask.

"Of course. Wouldn't miss it for the world," he says, kissing the top of my head. 

"Where are we gonna raise the baby?" I ask.

"Not here," Andy says immediately. 

"You can move into my house," Ashley offers. 

"Sure. I'd love to," I say. 

"Take it easy when packing. Don't overdo it. We don't want to lose the baby. We may not be fully ready, but that doesn't mean we're okay with it dying," he says.

"Okay," I say, smiling up at him. 

"Let's go for a ride. I brought my motorcycle."

"Good idea. Let's go get our minds off all this."

I walk down the stairs with Ashley and we go outside to his bike. I put on his spare helmet and he puts his on. I get on behind him and put my arms around his waist. 

"Why don't we go get you your own helmet?" he suggests. "You'll probably get really sick of wearing the spare."

"Sure. I'd love to," I say. 

And with that, we're off. 

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