Ticket [lh]

• Chapter 17 •

Liam and I had been on the roof for a few hours now, talking about the most stupid things.

"Are you still willing to listen about why I was up here, screaming, in the first place?" I said when we fell quiet for a few seconds.

"I will always listen, even to the silly things. Because sometimes all you need is someone to listen."

"I've been friends with this guy, Luke, for 2 months now, doesn't seem long but he was the first one that gave me a feeling that things could get better again. Yesterday we went to the beach together. I had to do a photoshoot there and he came along. We decided to go swim this morning and I really asked him not to judge me and now that's all he does, treating me like a two year old. He hasn't even replied at any of my texts since we got back. I'm just so tired of people treating me different or judging me because of it. It's mostly in the past but people seem to always think of me as the happy, careless girl. But honestly, I'm not happy or careless at all." I sighed looking at my feet "I don't even know why I'm telling you all of this. If you want to go, you can just go"

"I think that's the rudest thing he could do. This part of you is something your friends have to accept. But that's hard sometimes, I can get that. But it's a part of you, you're not you without that part. I've had some experiences with people like that, once they start judging there's nothing you can do to change their mind." I saw him looking down at his feet aswell.

"People suck."

We sat there quiet for a while again. Just listening to the city being alive at the botom of our building, the cars passing by and the people laughing.

"If you want, I'm a good listener aswell. As sometimes all you need is someone to listen." I smiled when I repeated the words he said.

"I just moved from Perth to Syndey just to be able to run away. My brother passed away a year ago. He was in the car with me while I was driving. A car drove into us on his side. He passed away just a few seconds after, I got out of the car with just a lot of wounds and bruises. My parents have never stoped blaming me, and neither can I. I was the one who wanted to drive around late at night, he came with me to prevent me from doing something stupid. I couldn't stand being in that house anymore." He looked at me a small smile on his face "It's hard knowing you could've prevented that from happening and being there at that exact same moment, while you're the only one that survived."

"You shouldn't blame yourself for this, you could've done nothing to prevent that from happening believe me. He wanted to come with you, you didn't force him and you didn't drive the other car. This is not your fault" I grabbed his hand lightly and gave him a small smile before pulling him in a hug. I let go after a few moments and looked at him "There's a reason you're still here."

"I'd like to believe that, but as I think you know, believing things like that is hard." He looked back at me and gave me a small smile

"I know, but I always like to believe that the advice works with other people, even if it doesn't works with me."

"Will you tell me what made you start? You now know what made me. I know it has nothing to do with that boy, or any boy."

"It has been 3 years, that year was really messed up. I had a best friend who passed away that year. She had cancer so we expected it to happen one day but she was getting better and doctors said she had a chance to survive, a week later she was gone. I stopped making friends and I didn't even eat half of what I should. I started that year aswell. I got a boyfriend a while after, we were together for pretty long and I was getting better. I felt great with him. I found out he had cheated on me on my 18th birthday during our whole relationship. That's when everything went downhill again. The past 2 years people have used me to bet, whoever could sleep with me won. I gave up on guys and Luke was the first one to make me feel better again. He gave me hope that I could get better. I never got any support from home as I was always unwanted and they never wanted me home anyway. So yea, that's sort of my story."

"3 years is a long time"

"My skin is a painting" I laughed a little and looked over at him

"That's a beautiful way to say it. Let's be paintings together."

"I'd like that, you're the first one I told you all of this. It just feels okay to talk to you, even if we've met a few hours ago."

"It does indeed feel normal to talk to you about things like this. I'm normally never an open person and like to keep everything to myself."

"People that like to scream fit together" I said when I leaned my head against his shoulder. Both looking at the city.

"I think you might be right." He was now leaning with his head against mine. We were just watching the city go to sleep. There were less people outside, buildings got darker and the cars were almost gone.

I don't even want to know how long I've been sitting here.

"I think we should go back to our appartments. It's like 3am." He said after a few minutes

"You can go, I'm going to stay here a little longer. I've got to wake up again in 3 hours anyway." I smiled at him when I sat straight again and watched him stand up. "I'll see you around"

"You will. I look forward to seeing you again." He smiled back at me and turned around, making his way back in the building.

I stayed up there the rest of the morning. Just looking around and trying to understand what was going pn in my head.

I just told things to a stranger that I have never told anyone else.

I looked at my watch and saw it was 5am. I made my way back downstairs. I let myself fall down on the chair, I looked at my phone and saw I had no new texts.

I haven't heard a thing from Luke since he dropped me off.

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A/N: Okay so I think these were the last few things Alex was keeping to herself. Or maybe not. She's complicated. But I think she's cool, she just has a messed up head.

Luke is being stubborn so he isn't in this chapter. He'll come back soon, don't worry.

Almost 2k reads! I'm very curious to see how far it can get there :)