Captive

39 // Battle Cry

I couldn't even scream. I'm not sure how many minutes passed by before I took a breath in, but it felt like I hadn't tasted oxygen for ages. 

I watched Damien's dress shirt transform from white to red as if it were magic. I heard the faint echo of Lyon's voice in my ear, but my eyes were locked on that shirt. My parents kept me tucked away safe and sound at the top of that hill. I had hardly seen death, I had never seen war. Now look where my sheltered upbringing had gotten me. Are you proud, Mom and Dad? 

"Cyan!" his voice shook through the fog and my eyes snapped to his. He was dripping with authority. "Cyan, he's not dead, help me, would you?" 

I took his feet while Lyon did most of the heavy lifting. The blood from his wound was scattered up and down my dress. We brought him to the closest room outside the ballroom, his office, and a swarm of doctors and guards were around us. Lyon swept the belongings off of Damien's desk, and they clattered to the ground. 

I wanted to stay. I was swarmed, and Lyon was pushing my stiff body back outside the door. 

"I want to stay with him, Lyon I-" 

"He is in safe hands right now, Cyan. Please, just let them do their job, okay? He's their King. They're not going to let him die." His eyes danced around the corridor, as if he was afraid that Xander would come back. "Let's go find Alessia, okay?" 

"You don't have to come with me," I insisted. 

"Listen to me. Damien's right hand man is dead in your wedding venue right now. The palace is under siege for all I know, and if anything as small as a paper cut happened to that pretty little face of yours, Damien would come back from the dead just to rip me apart." 

I nodded, because it was all I could do to keep myself from crying. He took my hand, and pulled me back to the ballroom. 

It was deserted. Everyone had fled in fear, everyone except for one. Alessia was hunched over in her dusty rose bridesmaid dress, holding Ace in her arms. I couldn't hear sobbing, I couldn't hear tears. As Lyon went to rush down the stairs, I put out a hand to hold him back. 

"Let me take care of this one, okay?"

He looked to me tentatively, scanning the ballroom to see if Xander was lurking in the shadows. Reluctantly, he nodded, and I descended down the stairs on my own. 

When I first approached her, I kept a healthy distance behind, biting my lip. Honestly, I had never dealt with a werewolf in distress, and I feared that the wrong touch could cause her to shift and tear me to shreds right then and there. 

"It's gone," she muttered. 

"What's gone?" I inquired after a moment of silence. I made my way around Ace's body and sat across from her. The ballroom looked apocalyptic now, with both of us covered in blood and the pretty decorations torn to shreds. 

"The pain in my chest, the pain that you're supposed to feel when your mate dies, it's gone." 

I furrowed my brow. Despite my orders towards Lyon, I heard him approaching behind me. 

"What?" That was the only word he could mutter. 

"Lyon, I told you to stay back-" 

"No, Cyan, this isn't normal. When someone's mate dies, it's supposed to cripple them. It gets to the point where the mate usually literally dies of a broken heart." 

"Ace really never was my mate, was he?" she whispered. I felt the color drain from my face. "I was mated to that monster, that monster that attacked Damien and probably would have tried to take you if there weren't so many guards attending the wedding." 

"What are you talking about?" Lyon scowled. He looked to me, knowing that I was keeping the secret from him. 

"When I was spending time with Xander, back at his mansion, he confessed to me. He was mated to Alessia, but once he committed his crime, the Moon Goddess took her from him. She was re-mated to Ace, whose mate had passed away without him even knowing her." I bit my lip, looking up at him. "He's not her mate anymore, so it doesn't even matter, it was stupid of me to mention." 

"Stupid? Stupid is keeping secrets from Damien, Cyan. Stupid is putting him in danger. If we had known, we would have put Ace on leave and hidden him and Alessia far away."

"He wasn't here for Alessia, you idiot! He was here for me!" I wanted to lunge at him. I wanted to scream, and run as far as my legs could carry me and never come back, never put anyone in danger ever again. 

I wanted to rewind, I wanted to never live this life. I wanted to go back to when Damien ordered me to come here, and tell him to go fvck himself. This was not the life I wanted, and it certainly wasn't what I asked for. I was sick of it. 

"Alessia and I would like to go home, Lyon." 

"You are home," he rebuttled. 

"To my home. My real home." 

"What makes you think you're any safer there than you are here?" 

"Maybe because this castle has been under siege twice in the six months since I've been here, but my home hasn't been visited by so much as a Jehovah's Witness." 

"Running away isn't the answer, Cy." 

We were both surprised to see Alessia speak. I was worried for her, terrified, even. There were no tears, no sobs. It was as if Ace dying had simply made the mate bond fade, and she was holding a complete and utter stranger in her arms. 

"Go talk to the Moon Goddess, please. She might have answers." 

^^^ 

I was sitting on the floor of Damien's room. My dress had been removed and taken away. Honestly, I never wanted to see it again. I never wanted to wear another dress, or attend another wedding, or another fancy coronation ball. I was sitting in my silk slip, letting the moonlight spill in through the window at my feet. 

"Hello, Cyan." 

I looked up, and my eyes met hers. I looked around, confused. Was I dreaming? 

"I thought it would be more fitting to visit your world today, rather than have you come to mine." 

"Thank you," I mumbled. 

"I'm-" 

"Please don't tell me that you're sorry for my loss, or whatever. Damien's not dead." 

"But Ace is," she shot back. 

I slumped in defeat. I felt like a Christian lying before God, asking him 'why' over and over again. Why, why, why? I was tired of lamenting. I was tired of letting things happen to me. I hated being human, I hated not having that extra ounce of control that everyone in this palace seemed to possess. 

"So, tell me what to do," I pleaded. 

"I am a lot of things, Cyan, but I am not you. I can't decide what your heart wants, only you can do that." 

"Last time I checked, my heart can't rewind time," I sighed as I slumped further into the ground. 

There was a knock on the door, and I turned. Lyon was in the doorway, and an emotion somewhere between relief and worry were stretched across his face. My gaze went back to the window, where the Moon Goddess was perched only moments earlier, but she was gone. 

"He's awake."