Friday Night Dinner

Birthday Girl

I knocked on the Goodman's door, Aunty Jack opened it and embraced me tight while squealing.

"23! I can't believe it! They're growing up too quickly!" She said.

"Not my birthday just yet-" I spoke but was frightened by the boys, Adam jumped on my back and Jonny gave me a kiss.

"Happy Birthday Pest!" They yelled, I smiled and thanked them. Mum and Aunty Jack traipsed towards the kitchen while the boys and I were close behind.

"Pissface, what the hell is on on your lips?" I wiped my face to find marks.

"Lipstick" he shrugged.

"Fantastic" I replied, "excited for the trip?"

"Yeah, super keen. Aren't you going to miss Bradley though?" Pusface asked. I nodded casually.

"Yeah, but to be perfectly honest we could do with some time apart. I see him everyday so this break will make me miss him. Absence makes the heart grow fonder right?" I responded, they didn't answer back but just nodded.

*

"Dinners ready! Martin!" Aunty Jack announced, Uncle Marty was nowhere to be seen, "can you please find your father boys?" She asked. The boys got up and travelled off somewhere, as I was being served I saw something in my peripheral vision. Is that? Is that Martin in a dress?

We made eye contact and he hid behind the wall, "Excuse me" I excused myself and went to the front door. Martin was limping to me. He froze, we said nothing until he was inside.

"Happy Birthday love" he wished me. I thanked him and asked why he was wearing a night gown and limping outside, "well uh, I know everyone is tired of seeing my bosoms when I'm boiling," Uncle Marty's boiling bosoms, gotcha,"so I thought I'd try Jackie's night gown"

"Bit tight" I looked down, he covered his nether regions.

"Oh yes. Well, you see it is cold out"

"I thought it was boiling?" I asked, "what about the way you're walking?"

"I stepped in dog shit"

"Of course, of course and why were you outside anyway?" I asked.

"Why do you ask so many questions by god you're like Curious George"

"Thank you for comparing me to a cartoon monkey. It's the compliment I've been waiting for" I commented.

"Dad!...Dad!" Adam called out, bored. He saw his father in his mother's night dress, "oh Dad" he said disappointed.

"Did you find him?" Jonny appeared and saw his father, making the same face as his brother, "oh Dad"

Martin ran upstairs, all three of us were confused but I was hungry, I scratched my neck, "We'll look into that later"

"Yeah, eat first" Jonny muttered and we all awkwardly shuffled to our seats.

*

"You alright Jonnyboo? You've hardly touched your food" Aunty Jack asked Pissface. I hid my smile with my wine glass.

"Yeah. Fine, just nervous about the flight that's all" Jonny kept glancing to his dad, who seemed oblivious to the awkward atmosphere generated by the three youngest people in the room because of him.

"Don't worry son, the chance of a plane crash is highly unlikely...or is it survival?" Martin joked, Jackie held Jonny's hand as a measure of comfort.

I couldn't take the mystery anymore, I looked to Adam and nudged him. He glared at me then I tilted my head towards Martin. Indicating that I wanted him to ask questions, "So where were you before dinner, Dad?"