Friday Night Dinner

Christmas

"I think you look great" I commented on Jonny's do. Every year he gets drunk on Christmas Eve and every Christmas Day he ends up looking terrible. We were driving to Aunty Jacks for lunch and he looked like shit. I tried my best to make sure my make up helped him look awake and less dead in the eyes, but it wasn't convincing.

"Just make sure Pusface doesn't have any symbols or whatever close by"

"Come on, let's go celebrate another Christian holiday" we both got out the car, I treated him as if he was an elderly man, "that's it, that's good love. Keep going, almost there" he didn't tell me to piss off or make any snarky comments, he just smiled and went along with it. Seriously? What is going on with him?

"Hey Mum, hey Dad" Jonny entered, Aunty jack hugged us both and wished us, "no tree this year?" Jonny teased, Aunty Jack slapped him on the chest and he threw up in his mouth.

"Where's the little one?" I asked for Adam.

"Oh I don't know, you two are early for once," she teased me then pulled me aside, "can I just ask you...does Jonny seem a bit...off?" my eyes widened at the question.

"You noticed?" finally, I'm not going crazy.

"Yes! Of course! He's always quiet; like he's thinking-"

"Yes a dangerous thing for him to do" I cut her off, Jonny came back.

"What are you two talking about?" he frowned, we both stayed silent and looked at each other.

"Just catching up, we haven't seen each other in about a month" I smiled politely.

"Right" he didn't believe me but he retreated back to the kitchen, we followed soon after.

"Ooh, is that the turkey?" I asked the general area, Jonny warned me about the dryness.

"Yes! Nice and moist isn't it Martin?" She asked her husband. Martin didn't reply, he was busy eating cheese, like a whole block, "Martin! Stop eating butter!"

"What's that, love?" He fiddled with his hearing aid.

"You're eating butter!"

"Butter? I thought it was cheese, hah! I thought it was quite runny" he put it down.

"Put a shirt on will you! Your mother will be here soon" Aunty Jack tutted, "Viv will you help me bring the platters in?"

"Sure" I replied and glanced at Jonny, he was drinking water from the tap. The door bell rang, that must be Pusface. I carried the platter of sandwiches I had with me to answer the door. It was Jim and Wilson, both wearing a yarmulke on their heads.
"Hello" I took my time looking at his outfit.

"Merry Christmas-I mean Hanukkah. Jewish" he pointed to his nose and winked. I nodded in approval.

"Happy Hanukkah to you too, Aunty Jack! You have a visitor"

"Can you keep your voice down please!" Jonny yelled from the living room. I smiled and left Aunty Jack with Jim. After placing the platter on the table, I went and sat down on Jonny face, he pushed me off and groaned.

"You're taking up the entire sofa, move!" I told him off, he just got on his elbows so his head could go in my lap. "Why are you like this?" I chimed as I stroked his hair.

"Promise me you won't call me an idiot?" He asked.

"Why what did you do?" I asked, half concentrating on him and on my phone.

"I drank like half a bottle of vodka," he swallowed.

"That doesn't sound so bad"

"Straight, through a funnel"