Friday Night Dinner

The Goodman Wedding

Breathe. Breathe. In and out, that's how breathing works right? Although whenever I think about my breathing I always manage to stuff it up. Like I always hold my breath for too long or breathe in shallow breaths trying to match it up with a clock ticking.

"You alright, love?" Mum brought me out of my panicked state. I nodded and cleared my throat.

"Yeah. Yep. Yes. Fine. Yeah. Good." A pause.

"That bad huh?"

"I'm fine. I just-it's just hitting me I guess. I'm getting married to my best friend today," I grinned. Mum smiled while she styled my hair.

"I know! I'm so proud of you," she began tearing up.

"Hey-oh. Sorry," Adam entered but was trying to sneak out.

"It's alright Pusface, they're happy tears," I explained.

"Oh okay. You look nice, are you ready to spend the rest of your life being poked in the eye with Pissface's nose every time you kiss?"

"Is that not the dream?" I joked, "what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be making sure Jonny isn't sweating through his suit,"

"Do you remember his bar mitzvah?" He chuckled at the memory of Jonny sweating during his speech, "good times, I'm here to give you this. Mum said that if she gave it to you she'd just start bawling her eyes out," he handed me a blue velvet box.

"Holy shit," that earned me a slap from Mum then I showed her the sapphire necklace in the box.

"Holy shit," she echoed my words.

"It was Mum's grandma's wedding necklace...I think," Adam was clearly unaware of the importance of 'something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue'. This ticked off three out of the four.

"Tell her I said thank you," I hugged Adam.

"Including the hug?"

"Including the hug," I confirmed, "now get out of here. I need to get ready, I'm becoming a Goodman very soon,"

"My condolences," Adam bowed and left.

"You look so beautiful, love. I can remember the day I had you, the first words I said to you were...actually they were sobs because you were a 9-pound monster that just crawled out of my vagina-"

"Does this story have a point other than for me to hear about my disgusting birth?" I asked. She sat down next to me on the bed.

"I had to get an episiotomy because of you," she complained, "The first words I said to you were that you were gorgeous and that I'm always going to be here for you. I know I can be dramatic and emotional and I always steal the spotlight in any situation. I am still sorry about your graduation I just get so proud of you," Mum fainted in the middle of the pathway while I was being awarded at my high school graduation, "you're everything I've wanted in a daughter and more. You're my baby and now you're having a baby!" she began tearing up which made me weep a little.

"We can't cry! My make up is perfect!" I fanned my face.

"Okay, I'm going to go pick up your brother then drop by Jackie's to see if everything is going to plan...and to see if Jonny's alright," she reached for her handbag and got to the door.

"The quarterly 'if you hurt my daughter' speech?" I asked before she left.

"Of course. I'll be back soon, I love you!"

"Love you too!" I yelled. I wondered how everything looked. Jonny and I had agreed to have the ceremony and reception at his parents house because of their huge backyard. Also it was cheap. "Okay just you and me," I spoke to my wedding dress. A simple off-the-shoulder court train, I felt like a Disney princess wearing it. Not in the kidnapped/enslaved/mistreated way but towards the end when they've showered and get married-I feel pretty I guess is my point. But before I could put it on I went to eat a sandwich, Mum warned me that today was going to be hectic and that I wouldn't have time to eat and I certainly believed her. Someone rang the doorbell which meant I had to leave my meal. I seriously contemplated just leaving the front door go on and on while I finished my food. So, like an idiot, I shoved it all in my mouth. Maybe it was just Jehovah Witnesses so I wouldn't have to do any talking.