»Faded« // Min Yoongi [#BangtanAwards]

Away

Do you know the feeling, when someone laid next to you, while you waking up?

(A/N: No, @Vaenilla_Beans is always still awake, when I woke up. :(  )

Yoongi slept this night with me.

More specifically: He slept this morning with me.

So, I woke up and looked next to me and I saw a cute Yoongi, who was in a deep sleep.

I put my arm around his body and laid down on his chest.

"Hmmm." He 'said' and pressed me closer to him.

I love his smell and I felt secure when I'm with him.

He's my everything.

I never sleep alone.

If there is no one to sleep next to, I'll sleep next to a stuffed animal.

It makes me feel secure and safe.

It's a little embarrassing to admit it;

I'm an 'old' woman now.

It's important to me though.

I'd never met a guy so much like home until he came along.

When he smiled, I saw the world in his eyes,

When he cried, I felt the earth crumble beneath my feet.

Collarbones shaped like mountains, and legs sculpted into art.

He was handcrafted, skillfully, made to remind me of everything I'd ever loved.

I was about to fall sleep, but then the bell of the door rang.

"Ugh." I said and got up.

I went slowly to the door and opened it.

There wasn't someone, just a letter, so I picked it up.

"I know you miss your mom and I know you miss your dad When I'm gone but I'm trying to give you the life that I never had. I can see you're sad, even when you smile, even when you laugh. I can see it in your eyes, deep inside you want to cry 'Cause you're scared, I ain't there?
Daddy's with you in your prayers. No more crying, wipe them tears. Daddy's here, no more nightmares. We gonna pull together through it, we gonna do it. I love you girl and you better know it. We're all we got in this world.  I know it's confusing you. Daddy's always on the move, mamma's always on the news.I  try to keep you sheltered from it but somehow it seems-
The harder that I try to do that, the more it backfires on me. All the things growing up.
Mummy doesn't want you to see but you see just as much as she did. We did not plan it to be this way, your father and me, but things have gotten so bad between us. I don't see us ever being together ever again like we used to be when we were teenagers, but then, of course, everything always happens for a reason. I guess it was never meant to be, but it's just something we have no control over and that's what destiny is, but no more worries, rest your head and go to sleep.
Maybe one day we'll wake up and this will all just be a dream.

-Mum"

And I began to cry.

I broke down and Yoongi heard that.

He ran to me and looked confused.

"What happened?" he asked, while he hugged me.

I can't breathe because of the scars she left on my heart that she painfully call love.

I spent 23  years telling myself that I was getting better, but now I'm realizing that I'm not better.

And I don't think, I can handle this by myself anymore.

The letter was from my mom and someone put it ahead of my door.

I gave Yoongi the letter and he read it.

"Everything's gonna be alright. I know mommy's not here right now and we don't know why, but I promise momma's gonna be alright" someone said and we looked at the door, which was still open.

There was my dad...

With a gun.