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twenty-five • yuenyeung

☂ twenty-five: yuenyeung

Somewhere in the midst of all the self-loathing and tears of frustration, I had managed to fall asleep last night. I didn't even understand how it was possible for my body to have rested when my mind was in such a hyperactive state. But I guess, at some point, exhaustion had set in.

I woke up with my cheeks tight with tear-stains, still haunted by the memories of the previous day. I could remember everything that happened once I returned to the house after Carter had left - the hysteria of his mom, the worry of my mom, and the regret from us all.

Mrs. Daniels had stayed at our house for a little longer until my mom could calm her down slightly, before returning to her home to call Mr. Daniels and tell him what happened. She had considered not telling him in order to not upset him, but after what happened with Carter and what they kept from him, she decided it would be best for their family to just tell each other everything from then on.

After she had left, I basically broke down to my mom, the guilt flowing out of me. She had tried to assure me that I did the right thing by keeping the secret, but it hardly mattered what she said at that point. Once she had realized that none of her soothing words were succeeding in calming me down, she told me to go to my room and try to get my mind off of things or rest.

Reluctantly, I had listened to her, but nothing could calm me down. I even remembered hearing her talking about the situation with my dad once he had gotten home. At that point, she was no longer quite so level-headed about the situation. And how could I have been calm when even my mom wasn't? So, as a result, I had wallowed in my guilt and shame until I completely knocked out.

I went to the bathroom and splashed some water on my face, trying to wake myself up and simultaneously clean my face from the tear-stains. After I had brushed my teeth, I returned to my room and checked my phone.

5 New Text Messages

My heart leaped, dangerously and foolishly allowing me to hope that at least one of those messages was from Carter. But, as I unlocked my phone, I discovered yet another disappointment in life. Two of the texts were from Cameron and Emily, who both did not know about the current predicament with Carter. It wasn't my place to share it with them, since there was so much more to the situation than just some normal fight with Carter.

The remaining three texts, however, were from Mrs. Daniels.

12:14 A.M.: Have you heard from Carter yet?

7:02 A.M.: I stayed up all night waiting but Carter never came home last night. I still haven't heard a word from him.

7:09 A.M.: Your mom hasn't heard from him yet either. Have you heard from him? Please tell me you've heard from him.

He never went home? My heart broke hearing the heartache in Mrs. Daniels's texts. I couldn't begin to imagine the worry she was going through as a mother. I quickly gave her a call, deciding that it would be better than shooting text messages back and forth. She picked up on the first ring.

"Kennedy!" she cried with hopeful relief. I silently cursed at the fact that I would have to break the news to her that I hadn't heard from him either. "Did you-"

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Daniels, but I haven't heard from him either." I could practically hear her heart drop through the phone.

"I guess I shouldn't have expected him to reach out to any of us," she sighed. "I just, I just sort of hoped, you know?"

I voiced my understanding. It was obvious that she was exhausted and I wanted nothing more than for her to have her son back. "Mrs. Daniels-"

"Danielle, please," she said, her voice trembling.