Thoughts And Short Stories/Scenarios

Entry 18

Long time huh? Yeah I know. I've been in a bad place and honestly still am ,but hey it doesn't matter anyways.

- A memory and the flood of feelings that came-

    When I was sick and alone, I felt like ending my life. I was alone and wouldn't have to worry about anyone coming home for a few hours. I was thinking so many horrible things about myself and then I heard your voice. I remembered that day in class where I was planning to actually kill myself and I was making jokes about it and talking about how I would do it. I remmber you telling me that I shouldn't do it and when I asked why you told me that I was valuable. That is something that I had never heard before. Something I had never been called. Something I had never considered myself. It saved me that day. I cry everytime that I think about it because you don't know what that did to me. It made me heart skip a beat and make me wanna cry tears of joy. Why? Because I had never been told that I had any value or meant something to someone. Definitely never been valuable. It hit me hard. That's the day that I fell for you. Kind of stupid I know ,but that's what you did for me.
     Remembering this breaks my heart because I know if I were to ask you about that day that you wouldn't remember it. I know you have probably forgotten and wouldn't understand what that did for me ,but I hope one day I can ask if you remember and you say yes so I can thank you and not have to explain why. That would probably not happen ,but I have hope. Even though it isn't much that's all I've got.