Broken Promises : Ayanda (COMPLETED)

2

I'd like to think that my life started immediately when I got legal.
I don't know if I was blind to everything or what but when I turned 18, I can say that shit got real. Literally.
I was my mother's only child. I can say, I understand.
It had always been the two of us. I'm saying I understand because had my father not left her pregnant, she would have other children.
She probably didn't want to think its her destiny.
She would have Not been able to go through another pregnancy alone.
My father ruined her, he damaged her heart, body and soul.
My mom wasn't the same ever since he left.
I lost her to breast cancer. She had managed to conceal the pain until she couldn't anymore.
She acted strong in my eyes but I could hear the sobs and hisses when she thought I was sleeping.
She loved me and left me.
I was only a child.
I buried my own mother on my eighteenth birthday and that's when everything got real for me.
She had shielded me from the world. Protected me from monsters and predators and when she died, I became prey to the world's monsters and torments.
That's when all faith died in me.
That's when I lost it all.
I lost love I lost trust and I lost my only family
" Ayanda "
Alexis called swiftly, bringing me back to earth.
My mind had been far away and only then I realized the tears that had embraced my cheeks.
" I know we don't have much. I know I don't but we have each other, surely that should matter. "
Her assurance wasn't penetrating neither to my heart or my ears.
" Should it? Really? I'm going to be a much more burden to you. Is that how my life is suppose to be? Me being dependent on everyone else but myself? "
I needed her to understand.
My chain of thoughts continued to roam around in my mind.
It was my mother, it was Siya and now Alexis.
What if she leaves? I sighed.
I would never be able to survive that, not again.
I had went through enough, to last me a lifetime.
" Ayanda, look I.. "
I took out my hand to her face telling her to say nothing more.
I didn't want to hear it. I couldn't.
I.. I was just at a point where I had no hope, absolutely no hope left in me.
For how long can one keep hoping for the best?
For how long should I have to hope that one day, just one day my happiness will be long lived?
I was just tired. Yes, only 23 but I had had enough
.

Siya was in his house with his wife.
They had just got back from their honeymoon yesterday.
It was four weeks of a vacation, travelling all around Europe.
They were clearly happy. Everything had worked out for him
Everything had worked out how he had hoped
She was happy, she had her dream wedding, her dream man and their dream vacation.
Everything was going well for them.
Siya had no doubt that he had made the best decision.
He didn't need to think it twice, he knew that she was the one.
Cindi had been there for him, with him through everything and a part of him regretted ever cheating on her.
" What she does not know, won't hurt her " was the reason he still hadn't come clean about his infidelity .
He didn't see the need to talk or rather confess about his past transgressions when they could just look forward to the future.
" Thank you for such a wonderful vacation Dhlomo "
Cindi said to her husband, laying her head on his broad chest.
She was happy, the memories were still pretty fresh and it's those she would never forget.
Time may pass but they remained printed in her long term memory for eternity.
" I'd do anything for you Sthandwasam "
He said, his heart filled with love.
He didn't think he loved her this much until she agreed to be his wife.
She smiled back at her husband, feeling his sincerity fill her heart.
She did not think he'd marry her and when he did, the joy that filled her heart was one she cannot quite describe.
It's ecstasy, it's euphoria.
" I have an idea or two on how we can celebrate "
He whispered sweetly into her ear, making her giggle
What Siya didn't know was the secret she was holding deeply in her heart.
She knew if it were to come out, he'd lose her and possibly her life.
Siya was one man with quiet a temper. The only person who had hardly seen this side of him was Ayanda but Cindi knew him too well.
They went over to their bedroom and enjoyed the splendor of the forbidden fruit, which to them, being in matrimony was their rightful right, pun intended.
" He'll kill me. He can't.. He can't find out "
She said with trembling hands, her heart pounding out of her chest.
Luke didn't care. He had always been carefree
" What makes you think I care? "
He was rather annoyed. According to him, they should both be in a good mood but she had allowed to let regret get the best of her.
Her conscience had managed to choke her but for her own life she had to suppress whatever feelings were haunting her conscience and move on like nothing ever happened.
" Are you okay? "
Siya asked, realizing that his wife's mind was afar.
He was very good at reading her body language. She was tense, signifying that her mind wasn't here, contrary to her body, which was just below his.
Her mind came back to reality and looking up, Her husband's eyes were feasted on hers.
His stare penetrated even through her soul and she had to put more effort in her lies.
" I just can't believe that you're finally mine. Officially. It's still a dream. I was even about to ask you to pinch me for confirmation's sake"
She needed him to buy it. His brown eyes stared into hers and he perceived right there that she was hiding something but let it go.
He didn't want to believe it
He didn't want to believe that he had made a bad choice.
He rested his lips on hers and they continued with their love entangling moment.