Broken Promises : Ayanda (COMPLETED)

5

"We have to talk about Siya. "
I sigh as her words register into my brain.
We're on the verge of having breakfast.
It's nothing hectic, just some soft porridge which I made.
"What about him? "
I reply, not even sounding a little interested.
"He might not have seen us the last time but there's no telling what might happen next time"
I sigh, she's right and now I feel I have to be worried.
If Siya sees me, I don't know how he might or will react, I don't think I care but if that might harm my unborn baby, I should.
"So what do you suggest I do? "
She remains quiet for a while, probably in thought.
Then she opens her mouth, leaving me with quite a lot to think about.
" You'll have to see him "
"What? No"
I don't even have to think about it.
I can't see Siya. I just can't.
He got married, left me low and dry and never bothered to give me an explanation.
" You want to have a peaceful pregnancy, right? "
Alexis is rather relaxed about this. I don't think she realises the repercussions of what she's asking of me.
I don't think she even realises how hard this is for me.
"Have you any idea what you want me to do? How will seeing Siya lead me to a peaceful pregnancy? "
I'm unable to understand where she's coming from.
Maybe if she tells me and maybe explains, I'll understand.
"Look, you won't have to hide. You won't have to stress about him finding you. Think about that "
I spend the whole day ,including my lunch break thinking about it and when the thought is complete, I fish out my phone from my bag and dial his number.
I made sure not to send my caller iD but true caller can be so deceiving.
" Ayanda "  He says on the other side, sending shivers down my spine.
He still has such an effect on me and it's even worse, now that I'm pregnant
"Yaya? "
I snap out of it and snap back into reality, clearing my throat.
" Can we meet, please? We really have to talk. I'm at the shopping complex"
I know he's been trying to call me and like I thought, he doesn't even take a minute to think about it.
" Wait for me at Steers. I'll be there in twenty minutes "
He's quite a punctual man so I know if he says twenty, it's going to be twenty
"Alright but I'm going to order, you'll settle the bill when you arrive "
I hear him chuckle on the other side. I'm just glad things aren't awkward.
I ask for a table for two after getting in steers.
Alexis gave me a R100 note just in case he doesn't show up.
It's the little money she has kept And I pray to God in my heart that he doesn't change his mind.
I'm half way into my burger when he arrives. I feel his cologne hit my nostrils before I even look up.
He half smiles at me, before sitting down.
My heart suddenly races. This is the man who left me, who married another woman after selling me dreams.
I suddenly feel myself unable to breathe.
I can't stand his presence, I can't be here.
"Yaya, what's going on? "
After getting my breathing back to normal, I clear my throat.
" Don't call me that "
I manage to say, tears streaming down my face.
" I.. I'm sorry "
"Don't be. "
I stand up, unable to go through with this and hear him gasp
I even forgot about my bulgy stomach.
"You're pregnant? "
I wipe my tears. This is all too much for me.
Why did I agree to this? Why?
" I'm sorry. You don't have to... You don't have to do anything about it, you don't have to accept it. I just wanted you to know so I can't stop stressing about you finding out "
He stops me as I'm about to walk away and having him touch me, makes me feel chills contrary to my current feelings for this man.
" It's mine? Fuck, I know it's mine. This is just... I'm married "
I chuckle in disbelief, shaking my head in the process.
"That band in your left index finger says it all "
It's the one fact that will always haunt me.
Knowing the man whom I thought loved me, is married.
"Let's talk in my car "
I don't hesitate. It's already too late for me to think of taking a taxi.
He settles the bill and we walk together to his car.
He opens my door for me and after I'm settled in, walks to his side.
"How far are you? It's quite big"
"Five months"
I reply, looking outside the window.
"So where do you stay now? "
The anger embraces me again and I turn to face him.
" You... You got me used to the high life right? An allowance, apartment, designer clothes while I didn't work. What do you think? "
He cut me off the minute he got engaged.
I couldn't afford even rent so I had no roof on top of my head until Alexis became my knight in shining armour.
He stops the car on the side, I don't even bother looking where we are And He sighs.
" I... I'm sorry "
I chuckle, I'm not even surprised.
He has never been good with words, unless he's trying to fuck.
That's how he was able to convince me to have sex without using protection.
"Just drive me home "
"Ayanda "
"Now Siyabulela! "
He ignites the engine, upon hearing the command of my roaring voice and drives.
Now I regret this.
I regret being in his presence because I know he's never going to leave me alone.