Lone [MATURE HS]

Chapter 38

I'm four weeks pregnant. Four. The words are unbelievable to think, and certainly surreal to vocalize. Harry listens attentively to the doctor's advice, his hand clutching my knee seated beside me. I gaze up at the ceiling, unable to focus properly. My hands feel clammy, and my heart is shoved forcefully in my throat — courtesy of everyone's best friend, anxiety.

The thoughts keep hounding me, encroaching on my ability to function. School, money, my career, my future...Harry. All of these things will be altered by this one thing, this one enormously life changing thing. And I can feel myself hyperventilating a bit, trying to breathe in deeply to stop myself from panicking. Harry seems so calm now while he listens to Doctor Benerman advise how to solve the morning sickness and what my next steps should be in the health of the fetus or if there are any complications.

When the doctor gives us the okay to go, I adjust my jacket and my fluffy slippers, wrapping my arms around myself and quietly walking out. Harry close behind, reminding me to watch my step when we're approaching an icy sidewalk. When crossing the street, he hurries to grab my hand as if helping me avoid any ongoing traffic. I sigh heavily and send him a faint, half-hearted smile. His attitude of a protective boyfriend just intensified exponentially.

In his car, we sit and wait for the heater to warm up. Harry places his hands on the wheel, tapping his thumbs on the material. I snuggle into my coat, looking over at him. His pale green eyes are wandering the parking lot, aimlessly. He bites his bottom lip, obviously thinking to himself. His private thoughts were worrying me, and so I softly force out, "What are you thinking?"

He turns his head to look at me, not hesitant as he breathes, "I'm not worried about having a baby. I'm not as scared as I was before we got the results. But... I have to walk into the police station, and hand over all the shit we have against Katherine. I couldn't run the risk of her hurting you, before...but especially now. I can't wait to do this anymore."

I part my lips, reaching to grab his wrist. "We can do this, baby. I'll walk in there with you. We'll tell Erin and my mom. Slowly. One thing at a time, okay?" My voice is soft, noting the anxious tapping of his thumbs onto the steering wheel. Aware of my watchful eyes, he averts his elsewhere — on the frost forming at the corner of the windshield.

He inhales deeply, chest rising, mouth parted slightly. "We're doing okay right? Most people would probably be doing a lot worse, considering our situation...right? We're not entirely out of line. We manage. School, life..." he finally looks to me for certainty. "Yeah?"

I nod, assuredly. "Yeah."

"Do you feel okay? About a baby. I️t's your choice, honestly. I don't want you to do this if you can't...because of everything—"

"I'm almost twenty-one. I'm on my way to finishing an accelerated program. You're graduating, going on to grad school. From Brown. I mean...we can do this. I'm not worried about my young adulthood ending too quickly. I️t's not even a thought," I share with him honestly, while he observes me carefully. "I want this. If you want it. I'm scared, but when is anything ever easy?"

"I want it," he nods. "Without a doubt. I'll be twenty four, and honestly was never the party type, so that's out the window. It doesn't matter. I have the money my dad left me. Too much, I feel, sometimes. We've got the capabilities. I'm not scared."

"I'm really scared. But this is good. We balance each other out," I innocently suggest, and Harry chuckles half-heartedly at my naive attempt to cheer him up. "We've been through a lot. I think...this is nothing. This is nothing we can't handle."

"I know. I can sell my loft. Goodbye to my bachelor days, right?" He jokes sarcastically, and I silently chuckle, mouth widened into a toothy grin. He looks to me, leaning his temple into the back of the car seat, a faint, dimpled smile across his handsome, yet exhausted face. "I love you, okay? This will never be the type of thing that forces me or ties me down to you. This is a plus — a huge plus."

"Plus one, literally," I smile, placing my palms to the fabric if my jacket that covers my belly. Harry reaches over, placing his hand over my own.

He sighs. "Your mum's going to kill me," he breathes happily, staring at our hands.

"Yeah," I gush softly, gazing up at him from our hands, whispering, "I love you, by the way."

"Yeah, I know. I could tell by the way you didn't scream in agony that I'm the one who impregnated you," he jokes.

Laughing, I respond, "This will be a cute baby." I bite into my bottom lip, cheerful glassy eyes locking with his. He leans over to kiss my mouth gently, nose nudging mine. "You should move in with us," I suggest against his mouth. "Sell your loft. Move in with us until we graduate and go on from there..."

"Yeah? I won't mind. You might hate me though."

I kiss him again. "Mhmm...I know. I can see you and my mom teaming up, forcing vegetables down my throat. Forcing me to exercise and take vitamins," I hum amusingly, leaning my head back onto the seat. I watch him lovingly, even as his hand beckons towards the seatbelt, urging me to put it on. Scoffing faintly, I grab the fabric and pull it across my front, clicking it tightly as he does the same for himself.

He puts the car into drive, backing out of the parking lot while I fiddle with the radio, eventually giving up and shutting it off. Half way through our drive, rain starts pouring heavily, the silence filled with the endless noise of pattering heavy rain drops and the mechanic swipes of the windshield wipers. I lean forward to gaze at the sky through the windshield then to the car window beside me, lazily watching the passing street lamps that illuminated the surrounding darkness.

Harry's eyes stare straight ahead at the road, hands wrapped around the steering wheel. He drives with focus, turning the corner into my street before pulling up to my driveway. When the car finally comes to a stop, we find ourselves cemented, glued to our seats, unmoving...staring at the warmly lit windows concealed with my mother's favorite, creamy curtains.

"How mad do you think she'll be. Like on a scale from one to ten?" Harry whispers quietly, the apprehension of his tone so clear it might've been humorous in any other context.

"Um...a forty? If we're lucky, forty five. At worst...a solid sixty," I respond softly, shrugging my shoulder. "We can bribe her with cute baby imagery?" I grimace, turning my head to look at Harry, who still grips the steering wheel with clear nerves, though he then pulls out the keys from the ignition and sighs heavily to himself. "She loves you. I do too, and you love me — she knows that. We can do this," I nod reassuringly, placing my hand over his own, squeezing gently. "Or...we don't have to tell her right away..."

"I reckon lying to your mum is possibly the worst idea," he mutters, shaking his head. "God, she's going to cut my dick right off..."

I manage a small giggle, placing my hand over my mouth to conceal my noises of amusement. "Yeah, but...this is different."

"In a way that is much much worse."

"Harry," I frown.

He turns his head to look at me, turning the hand I had grabbed over to meet his palm with mine. "Not like that, baby. We've already discussed this. I'm just...a bit nervous, is all."

"Well, you charmed your way into my life and...my pants, so. You'll be fine," I retort sarcastically, earning a glare. In return, I giggle and poke his cheek with my index finger, which he turns away from with a half hearted glower.

"We'll go in there, and I'll say...hey, Mary, I've put my unwrapped willy in your daughter and so, ha! — here we are!"

"Or...or," I murmur slowly. "I say, hey mom, I'm pregnant! And Harry's got tons of inherited money so we'll be fine, and neither of us have a social life to complain about ruining, so it's not that bad. And we'll both be finishing school soon, so we'll get jobs and stuff. Grown up stuff..."

He nods. "Yep. I like yours a bit better."

"Yeah, me too," I whisper, patting his thigh and then undoing my seatbelt. "You ready?"

note: vv short. but the next chapters will be really good :))))

predictions!?