Making Remy Laugh (BoyxBoy)

Nineteen- Remy Reed.

"How have you been feeling about your past, Remone?" Dr. Morris said and Remy shrugged, not really wanting to focus on the multiple memories he had been over thinking for the last few days. Some of them were happy memories, but Remy still didn't want to think about them. The happy memories always lead to him feeling sad, so instead of thinking about them, he had been trying to fill all of his thoughts with Cecil instead of confronting his issues. Knowing that this wasn't a strategy his therapist would approve of, he most definitely didn't want to be at his appointment that morning. "Have any memories returned to you?"

Remy chewed his lip, wondering if now was the time to tell her that none of his memories had returned because he had never lost them in the first place. He wondered if they would think he was a freak then, Dr. Morris, and his father, who had joined the appointment that morning.

Remy didn't tell the truth. Instead he said, "Yeah," quietly, and his father tensed along side of him.

The man had insisted on joining them for the session, wanting to talk to Dr. Morris about Cecil, probably hoping she would tell Remy that dating really wasn't a good idea for him at this point in his life.

"Would you like to explain them to me?" The doctor asked, and Remy shook his head, no.

"Remone," His father said, exacerbated and Remy turned his head away. "This is supposed to help you. You need to talk to the doctor in order to feel better".

"I feel fine," Remy said, and he wasn't lying. For the first time in a long time, he actually felt okay. "This- talking- is going to be what makes me feel a hell of a lot worse than fine".

"Why do you say you're fine, Remy?" Dr. Morris cut in and Remy turned his head to look at her, his hazel eyes narrowed ins suspicion as if she was going to trick him into an episode, which would be incredible unfortunate, since his hands were still chapped and bloody from that morning. "Are you happy?"

This surprised Remy. At this point in his life, he still wasn't exactly sure what happy felt like when it was all the time. Sure, he'd get small bursts of it, typically in the presents of Cecil, but he had yet to feel happy for longer than a period of ten seconds. Since he didn't know how to answer the question, he said something else to see what she would make of it. "I laughed the other day".

"Alright," She said, taking it in stride, though his father shot him a look of surprise. "How many times?"

"Once".

"If you were happy Remy, you would have laughed more than once in the past five years," Dr. Morris said, and Remy shrugged.

"Alright. So I'm not happy. What's your point?"

"Have you been taking your medication?" She asked immediately and Remy rolled his eyes. This seemed to be her favorite question of the years. Remy wondered if she asked her other patients about their medication as much.

"Yes," Remy said. "They don't do anything. They don't make me feel any different".

"That's not true," Remy's father cut in and Remy watched him from the corner of his eye. "When you're not on those pills you felt numb. Nothing at all. It's like you're not even there". Remy chewed his lip, contemplating whether or not he should tell his father that he sometimes preferred that feeling.

"What made you laugh?" Dr. Morris cut in and Remy's eyes focus on hers once more.

"Cecil," Remy said, and she nodded. They had talked about Cecil many times before. Remy guessed that she probably felt as if she knew him at this point.