AM13 Outbreak Shorts

Crackdown - Fourteen

This...is hell.

It's getting ridiculous now. There are just too many people here. The space isn't designed enough for it. Because of the cramped and stressful conditions, tensions are high and no one's in a good mood. Petty arguments have started taking up most of my day which is unbearable.

"He's eating more than his rations," one of the younger guys, Rhys if I remember rightly yells out. The accusation rolls violently off his tongue. "It isn't fair."

"I've had the same amount as everyone else..."

"Just stop it," I tell them both wearily. "We cannot keep fighting among ourselves."

Rhys' eyes flash with anger. "Then what are you gonna do about it? We can't all stay here, there's no room, and we can't all survive on the food left over. We need more."

We need...I'm very aware about what everyone needs, I just wish they'd stop looking at me to provide it. I don't have all the answers, this isn't a position I wanted to find myself in. I'm trying my best, but no one can appreciate that because they all want some miracle solution.

I rest my hands on Rhys' shoulders and stare deeply into his eyes. I want him to see just how serious I am when I say this. "I am trying to sort it. I'm doing what I can."

He freezes up, there's a tension in his spine while he refuses to break eye contact, but as I pull away a snarky comment flies past his lips. "Then maybe you should let someone else take control."

My fists ball up by my sides and I grit my teeth to stop the anger bubbling in my stomach from erupting like a volcano. Teenagers know nothing about the world., they're barely just staring out. Their false confidence comes from never really having to survive much hardship...well, some of them anyway. I can't let this get to me, I need to keep my cool head on.

"I..." I start to talk, but then I realize there isn't anything I want to say, so I turn on my heels and I stalk from the room, refusing to glance at anyone.

My brain spins as I go, I can feel my thoughts dancing and darting in my brain, shooting off on wild tangents as I attempt to come up with any solution, none of which seem right. I mean, if there was a government plan then we would know about it already, if there was somewhere else to go with a decent amount of supplies then surely someone would've found it, I can't in all good conscience kick people out either...for now, we're stuck here.

Then I see a sight that makes me blood run cold. Katie and Ryan, standing and talking to one another as if they don't have a care in the world. One of his arms is casually slung over her shoulder as he stakes a claim on her, and judging by the pinkness tinging her cheeks, she really doesn't mind.

I'm losing her, she's slipping through my fingers faster than grains of sand and there isn't anything I can do about it. I want to fight for her, I need her to be mine, but how can I make that happen when everyone else is relying on me? I don't have the time to show her that I care, I don't have the energy to make her see that I truly do love her and I can make her happy given half the chance. Ryan's got all the time in the world, and it seems he's using that to his advantage.

I need to work this out, I can't keep avoiding what's right in front of me, something...no, everything is about to implode and I would rather that not happen or we could all end up very dead.