✓ | sick of losing soulmates [SPENCER REID]

10.4

10.4
( missing someone. )

☆ ★ ☆

spencer

Walking into work the day after Iris' plane left feels . . . Nerve-wracking, to say the least.

Spencer can't count on one hand the amount of times, ever since Iris began working at the BAU, that he's stepped out of the elevator with the heavy weight of apprehension in his chest. Even when she's not there, like now, he feels the anxiety in his stomach, the sickening, flittering butterflies. And why? Because she's not here. Because he can't stop thinking about her. Because he knows that he's not the only one in the team who can read someone incredibly well, and it's only going to be a matter of minutes — maybe only seconds — before someone notices there's something wrong with him.

Wearing only a hugging black turtleneck and her usual crisp pants and shining belt, Emily is heading down the corridor toward him, files in her hands. Adjusting his satchel, he smiles a little.

She returns it, but the movement is awkward and tight and forced, like the two of them aren't friends and merely acquaintances, knowing each other by face only.

It doesn't take him long to realise what happened, and it takes only a second after that to become slightly pissed; Iris must have told Emily what happened. And if Emily knew, JJ and Garcia knew. And if Garcia knew, Morgan knew. And Rossi probably picked up on it at some point.

His heart picks up speed as he crosses the bullpen at lightning speed, almost. Falling into the comforting leather of his chair feels like coming home, and he realises a breath, glad that Morgan isn't in yet. At least he has some time to sort himself out.

But he has a feeling that, when it comes to Iris, it's gonna take him quite some time to do just that.

☆ ★ ☆

Please leave your voicemail after the beep.

Beep!

❝ Hey, Iris. I, erm... Well, I guess the first thing I need to get out of the way is an apology. And I am sorry. I know I messed up. You were going through a bad time and yeah, I had every right to stop what we were doing, but I didn't... What I said to you was out of order.

❝ I know you're probably home right now, and you can probably hear me . . . Which means you're ignoring my calls. Which, honestly, I don't blame you for. I was an ass.

❝ But, erm. I guess, I just wanted to tell you I miss you. Hear your voice, but I suppose, considering your reluctance to answer or just your unavailability, I'm willing to take the second best thing... It's only been ten days and six hours — ...and, erm, twenty two minutes... — but already things are different here without you. Even when we weren't friends, you were still at the office, and when you were recovering I still saw you and the others still talked about you. But this is different. I guess you told Emily and Garcia and JJ what happened, which I don't blame you for, 'cause they're your best friends... Well, yeah, anyway. They're a little weary of me and things are awkward, and nobody says your name, at least not around me. Apart from maybe Hotch, on the odd occasion.