Curious Kitten

The Cat Gets Ready

I don't remember what happened after Jason told me when we have to have sex or at least the time period. So I pretty much have a total of 11 days to have sex -- if not sooner. And knowing Jason, it's going to be sooner. I'm not sure what I'm going to do. Although I really want to have sex with Jason I feel like it's too early. I don't want to give up myself like that so quickly. Even though having Jason on top of me thrusting in and out sounds like the most delicious thing in the world.

Stop! I scold myself. Focus.

I just hope that that's all of the surprises he has for me about this mating thingy.

Jason left the room a half hour ago to give me some time to think. I didn't want him to leave. I wanted him to to stay and make love to me but somehow I couldn't stop myself from letting him go. I have too much on my mind to be clingy. Especially now, Jason says he's leaving it up to me to decide what day and when. Which is really sweet of him but regardless I feel like he should've told me sooner. I'm not too much of a whimsical kind of gal; almost all my decisions are based off of planning so this news makes my skin tighten and my head throb. That's why the time Jason gave me to decide feels like forever.

Jesus lord on heaven what should I do?

I look up to ceiling hoping that maybe some sort of parting in the sky will happen and god will tell me what to do, so that I don't have to make a decision by myself. Should I stay? Should I have sex with a man after one week? Should I forfeit my virginity after years of waiting and yearning for a connection with a man? Can I just give myself all to him all at once.

It's not that I don't trust Jason. No I feel like he's the only person in this whole world that knows me and can care for me. He would be the one who will follow me everywhere regardless of my choices. He's the one for me. But the thing I'm worried about is me. It's change and it's coming fast. What should I do? Should I wait until the end of the mating period? Should I get it over with first thing tomorrow? I think I need advise. I don't fully understand the mating process either. Nor do I understand the consequences of not mating. Even though Jason briefly explained it it went right over my head as I tried to grasp the concept of werewolves and mates alone.

His mother would most likely be the best choice for advise. She is the nicest woman in the world. And her impression on me is that I can go to her for anything.

Carefully I sneak down the stairs after I checked for any signs of Jason. I think he might he out doing something, I just have a feeling that he is not in the house. How? I don't know. It's just a feeling.

His home however pretty is a fucking maze. I believe after I located the kitchen and successfully stole a cookie that was cooling on a rack, I effectively got my self completely and totally lost. This isn't a new feeling vagueness, I've been getting lost since I was able to waddle into strange places. Especially the woods that surrounded my childhood home. I spent hours tracking the forest. Making trails so that I could find my way out. But nothing ever worked, so I was lost many times in the forest for hours before I reached exactly where I wanted to go. I know that sounds a little weird and awkward.

As I slaughter down a hallway my fingers grazed the vinyl wallpaper with flowers on it as passed, sometimes hitting a bump in the road as a door would pass. All the doors were shut. I mainly think I'm procrastinating making the "sex" decision. And I know that it's probably not the best idea and that its impossible to avoid.

Maybe I'll just go back tell Jason that I can't make this decision and then let hi- just as thoughts pass through my brain a door to my right creaks open. I stop and step back to survey. No open windows and no life? Interesting. Maybe a loose door frame cause the door to open when I walked pass and put pressure on the foundation causing the door way to shift making the door swing open. Very rational thinking on my part. But the room looks so... So inviting. The walls were a dull pink wall paper with pale cream flowering vines running up and down the walls. The floor creaked as I near the opening. From the doorway I see a vanity with a dusty mirror and small porcelain containers. Nearing the vanity I am struck by the huge bed. It's King size same as Jason's but somehow it's aura made it seem like a mountain. The two posts at the foot of the bed are tall and as thick as my arm. The designs in the deep wood are detailed and percussion drawing of wolves and seemingly a battle. The head post, the main attraction, as wide as the bed and five feet in height darfed the bad. The wood similar to the posts so had wolf carvings but it is clearing now the battle taking place. A war scene on the bed should be unsettling but it somehow filled me with calmness. I board the bed and sink onto my back. It isn't long before I'm asleep.