Escape Route (Decode Sequel)

Chapter Twenty Two - If You Love Me Let Me Go.

Lennon. 

My ears felt like they were bleeding, my throat was dry and raw and the pounding in my head got more intense with every step I took. All I wanted was fresh air, I didn’t want this. I didn’t want to do that but I felt like I had no other option. I could feel the heaviness of my heart as I watched his expression fall. I wanted to feel guilty about hurting him, running away but the voices in my head screamed louder than my need to feel anything. 

I couldn’t bare to turn around and see him again, I needed to get as far away from him as possible before I hurt him, again. The voices screeching through my ears were so loud, overpowering I was close to running straight in front of a car because I couldn’t hear it. I kept my eyes half closed as I ran back home. I didn’t venture outside often and if I did I normally wore sunglasses, I didn’t want anyone to see the monster I had become. 

Slamming the front door behind me I took a second to catch my breath resting my whole body against the door. I was shaking, sweating and furious. “Please stop,” I cried into my hands. Through my spluttering and unconventional breaths the voices stopped. I knew it wouldn’t be long until they started again but the minutes of silence I got I treasured. 

“What are you doing?” 

I jumped out of my skin when I heard the voice directly behind me, her tone was very underwhelming and I wasn’t exactly thankful to hear it. “N-nothing.” I cringed at the stuttering in my voice. My whole body was still shaking, in shock from seeing Harry, hurting him, running away. 

Emma snarled as she pushed me out of the way. I flinched as her hands tried to grip onto my arm. “Yeah well can you move, some of us have places to be.” She seemed unfazed by jumpiness. I was thankful Jason didn’t seem to be around at the minute, his snide remarks weren’t helping my current situation. 

I mumbled an apology as I moved away from her and the door. “Sorry.” I avoided looking anywhere near her and scurried down the hall to the kitchen. I stood over the sink and sprayed cold water across my face after I heard the front door slam shut again. 

My hands were still trembling as my fingers ran over my face. I kept them there for a while before letting go and drying my skin. I could see my reflection in the oven door, it wasn’t a great image but I could still make out my death like features. My skin lacked any complexion and my eyes were black holes invading my face. I avoided looking at mirrors in the house because I couldn’t bare to look at myself. I scared myself just seeing my eyes. 

I gripped the handrail on my way upstairs. I fell down onto the mattress and curled up as small as I could. The voices were still at bay for now. My arms wrapped around my head tightly blocking out the world. The only thing I could hear was my breathing.

This house was the last place I expected to find myself again. After three weeks in solitary I would have taken a shed in a random persons back yard over the laboratory any day. The day they let me go they opened the front door of the place I had been hidden and closed the door right behind me. No words exchanged, no way back home offered, not even a goodbye - but it wasn’t like I wanted one. And lastly, no explanation of anything.

I had been walking less than a mile when the voices began. I knew they had planted something inside my ears earlier on. The headphones were just an experiment, testing how I would react. I had cut, bruised and hurt my ears badly trying to take out whatever was inside my ear. But it was too deep for me to reach. The voices weren’t just any voices, they were theirs. I couldn’t see them, they weren’t with me but they were still controlling me. Two insanse me with unimaginable thoughts.